It is finally September 24. What's so special about this date you ask me? Well, it's the first day since I have been back from our sabbatical that I have had time and space to add to our blog.
I've had so many good titles for posts and so many great things to write about...but NO, absolutly NO time...
Today I picked everyone up from school, got 5 movies from redbox and we are having a family movie night! This is the first night that we have been back that has been stress free. I cooked "cereal" for dinner and as I write this post, everyone is upstairs tucked together watching movies...I'm going to go join them and hopefully find time for more blog posts! I miss blogging and I miss you reading my posts.
-Jenny
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Re-entry
I'm enjoying another day at St. Meinrads. Lots of silence. Solitude. Reading. Writing. Thinking. But I am aware that my time here is quickly drawing to a close. I am ready.
I have been thinking about reentry.
Reentry back into life in Indy, back into ministry, back into friendships and calling.
I am - slowly! - coming to know myself both in the beauty of who God designed me to be and in my deep brokenness as a person. Those two things - my beauty and my brokenness - seem to reside together, intricately woven so that seeing them clearly and distinctly is a challenge. I know that God has wired me as a man of vision of action of the deed. This is part of his design of me. Yet, in my brokenness I tend to be, as Jenny puts it, a "bulldozer"; to push people over in the goal of the vision, the deed and the glory of the challenge. By his grace, during this sabbatical time, God has been teaching me wisdom. That sometimes the Act and the Deed is achieved by a long waiting, by listening, by understanding the nature of a person or task.
So as I return, I want to walk in that wisdom. I want to listen to people. To ponder and meditate and pray more. And, when I act, for act I must, I want it to be at the right time and in the right way and driven by internal convictions and not just external exigencies and motivated by knowing the pleasure of God is on my, not because of what I do but because of who I am, his beloved son.
I want to remember that I am not a "human doing" but a "human being"...
Beyond that deep thinking, I'm very much looking forward to returning to my city, Indianapolis, and to my family and to my friends. I am very much looking forward to their presence: the laughter and smile of my children and embrace of Jenny; my friends in all their "hilaritas" and uniqueness and "differentness" and, yes, to the great challenges and mighty deeds that await as as we wait and work and love in the strength God gives us.
I have been thinking about reentry.
Reentry back into life in Indy, back into ministry, back into friendships and calling.
I am - slowly! - coming to know myself both in the beauty of who God designed me to be and in my deep brokenness as a person. Those two things - my beauty and my brokenness - seem to reside together, intricately woven so that seeing them clearly and distinctly is a challenge. I know that God has wired me as a man of vision of action of the deed. This is part of his design of me. Yet, in my brokenness I tend to be, as Jenny puts it, a "bulldozer"; to push people over in the goal of the vision, the deed and the glory of the challenge. By his grace, during this sabbatical time, God has been teaching me wisdom. That sometimes the Act and the Deed is achieved by a long waiting, by listening, by understanding the nature of a person or task.
So as I return, I want to walk in that wisdom. I want to listen to people. To ponder and meditate and pray more. And, when I act, for act I must, I want it to be at the right time and in the right way and driven by internal convictions and not just external exigencies and motivated by knowing the pleasure of God is on my, not because of what I do but because of who I am, his beloved son.
I want to remember that I am not a "human doing" but a "human being"...
Beyond that deep thinking, I'm very much looking forward to returning to my city, Indianapolis, and to my family and to my friends. I am very much looking forward to their presence: the laughter and smile of my children and embrace of Jenny; my friends in all their "hilaritas" and uniqueness and "differentness" and, yes, to the great challenges and mighty deeds that await as as we wait and work and love in the strength God gives us.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Prayer...Some Thoughts
My time at St. Meinrads has been a good time for prayer. I haven't forced myself to pray. But I have found myself praying.
I have been praying "in the name of Jesus". In John 15 and 16 Jesus teaches his followers to pray "in his name." Jesus says, "You did not chose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." (John 15:16) And, "I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in in my name." (John 16:23-26)
To pray in Jesus' name is to pray with all the reality of Jesus behind your prayers! It is to pray knowing that Jesus sits on the right hand of God as your Advocated, Mediator, and Priest. It is to come boldly into the presence of The Great and Holy God because Jesus has made a way for you by his death on the Cross. It is to know that you are covered in the beauty of Jesus when you come to God. It is to know that because you love Jesus, the Father delights in you. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray to God as your Abba, your Dearly Beloved Father. To pray in the name of Jesus means that you come to God as an eternally loved son, that you are an heir of the universe, that God is your Father and all things are yours. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know that the great enemies of our soul - sin, death and hell and Satan - have been defeated. To pray in the name of Jesus is to bear a nobility and dignity as a prince of heaven. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray with the authority and earnestness of a son of God. To pray in Jesus name means to know that you are bought by the precious blood of Christ. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know the future of the world will culminate in the triumph of Christ the True King of Heaven and Earth.
So I have been praying in the name of Jesus.
And, in my prayers for others - for my family and for my church family - I have been praying that God's design in them, what I call their core or ultimate identity, would be powerfully lived out in their lives. I am praying that God would grant his children the boldness for them to be who He has designed them to be! I am praying that their ultimate identity in God, their true name, would trump all the secondary idnentities that so easily define, motivate, control and, eventually, enslave.
One last thought about prayer. It is going to be very difficult for me to remain at St. Meinrads tomorrow, the first day of school. In IPS, the first day of school is "Dads, bring your kids to school day." There is an emphasis, a push, for dads to go to school with their kids, to show their kids support and how important and education is. Ever since I have been in Indy, I have taken my kids to school on the first day of School.
But Wednesday, tomorrow, I won't be there. Of course, I could make the trip up to Indy (it wouldn't be so bad in the Mustang convertible I'm renting), but I know that I shouldn't; I know that it is best for me to be away at St. Meinrads, resting, thinking, praying, meditating.
So, what can I do? I can pray? I can pray for Jacob as he begins his sophmore year at Tech. I can pray for Julian as he begins his eight grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Judah as he begins his sixth grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Jackie as she begins her 3rd grade year at School #14. And, when I pray, I know this. My children are not alone. Their Heavenly Father goes with them. The God of their father, the God of Jason, goes with them. The God who is Mighty, A Rock, A Refuge, A Physician, A Lamb and a Lion goes with them. He is mighty to save. So tomorrow, as my children go to school, and I set myself under the discipline of prayer and solitude and waiting, I will pray.
I have been praying "in the name of Jesus". In John 15 and 16 Jesus teaches his followers to pray "in his name." Jesus says, "You did not chose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." (John 15:16) And, "I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in in my name." (John 16:23-26)
To pray in Jesus' name is to pray with all the reality of Jesus behind your prayers! It is to pray knowing that Jesus sits on the right hand of God as your Advocated, Mediator, and Priest. It is to come boldly into the presence of The Great and Holy God because Jesus has made a way for you by his death on the Cross. It is to know that you are covered in the beauty of Jesus when you come to God. It is to know that because you love Jesus, the Father delights in you. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray to God as your Abba, your Dearly Beloved Father. To pray in the name of Jesus means that you come to God as an eternally loved son, that you are an heir of the universe, that God is your Father and all things are yours. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know that the great enemies of our soul - sin, death and hell and Satan - have been defeated. To pray in the name of Jesus is to bear a nobility and dignity as a prince of heaven. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray with the authority and earnestness of a son of God. To pray in Jesus name means to know that you are bought by the precious blood of Christ. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know the future of the world will culminate in the triumph of Christ the True King of Heaven and Earth.
So I have been praying in the name of Jesus.
And, in my prayers for others - for my family and for my church family - I have been praying that God's design in them, what I call their core or ultimate identity, would be powerfully lived out in their lives. I am praying that God would grant his children the boldness for them to be who He has designed them to be! I am praying that their ultimate identity in God, their true name, would trump all the secondary idnentities that so easily define, motivate, control and, eventually, enslave.
One last thought about prayer. It is going to be very difficult for me to remain at St. Meinrads tomorrow, the first day of school. In IPS, the first day of school is "Dads, bring your kids to school day." There is an emphasis, a push, for dads to go to school with their kids, to show their kids support and how important and education is. Ever since I have been in Indy, I have taken my kids to school on the first day of School.
But Wednesday, tomorrow, I won't be there. Of course, I could make the trip up to Indy (it wouldn't be so bad in the Mustang convertible I'm renting), but I know that I shouldn't; I know that it is best for me to be away at St. Meinrads, resting, thinking, praying, meditating.
So, what can I do? I can pray? I can pray for Jacob as he begins his sophmore year at Tech. I can pray for Julian as he begins his eight grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Judah as he begins his sixth grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Jackie as she begins her 3rd grade year at School #14. And, when I pray, I know this. My children are not alone. Their Heavenly Father goes with them. The God of their father, the God of Jason, goes with them. The God who is Mighty, A Rock, A Refuge, A Physician, A Lamb and a Lion goes with them. He is mighty to save. So tomorrow, as my children go to school, and I set myself under the discipline of prayer and solitude and waiting, I will pray.
St. Meinrads
I'm writing this blog from the second floor of the library at St. Meinrads monastery in southern Indiana. I love libraries: old books, quiet, spiritual riches. I'm found a number of helpful books on the life of Jacob (I'm preaching from the story of Jacob this fall) and I have diving into a number of books that are giving me much to chew on regarding Identity Mapping.
I drove to St. Meinrads in a 2003 GT Mustang convertible. We had some extra money left over from the grant and I needed to rent a car for the trip to St. Meinrads so I thought it would be fun to rent a mustang. The problem was that I couldn't rent any from any of the rental dealerships in Indy: they either didn't have them in stock as rental cars, or you had to rent a premium vehicle and upgrade to a mustang (if there were any available at the time). It was Friday, and I had to leave on Sunday. I thought I would give it one last try and called my friend Josh Nottingham up. Josh leads MATS which is a car dealership that specializes in online buying and selling of cars, especially for people in ministry. It just so happened, Josh said, that he had been driving a mustang convertible and would be happy to let me use it for a week...So there I was, driving the mustang with the warm wind in my face, to St. Meinrads.
What has it been like at St. Meinrads?
Silence, Solitude...
A lot of time to think and pray.
Time to read and write.
I have ordered my days like this:
Wake around 6:00am or so (I'm not setting my alarm!)
Pray and Read
Jog (I have a path I take that winds around a few small lakes, through woods, up a hill, etc.)
Shower, Shave
7:00 call Jenny and the kids
7:30 Breakfast (usually no one is in the eating room; breakfast is served continental style)
8:00 Return to my room; pray
9:00 Go to the library and work
12:00 Lunch
12:30 Break, lay on my bed and think
1:00-4:30 work in the library; read; write; prep sermons.
4:30 check e-mail
5:00 dinner (again by myself)
5:30 rest
6:00 Jog (same route)
Shower
7:00-11:00 work...in the evenings I spend more time thinking about my calling, what work I want to do this year; I also take time to pray for the congregation.
Sleep
This has been a good time for me. It has been a time to rest and think. I feel like I have owned spiritual truth and reality here because I've had time to meditate and pray and chew on things. So I'm glad for this time. But will be glad to be home soon too!
I drove to St. Meinrads in a 2003 GT Mustang convertible. We had some extra money left over from the grant and I needed to rent a car for the trip to St. Meinrads so I thought it would be fun to rent a mustang. The problem was that I couldn't rent any from any of the rental dealerships in Indy: they either didn't have them in stock as rental cars, or you had to rent a premium vehicle and upgrade to a mustang (if there were any available at the time). It was Friday, and I had to leave on Sunday. I thought I would give it one last try and called my friend Josh Nottingham up. Josh leads MATS which is a car dealership that specializes in online buying and selling of cars, especially for people in ministry. It just so happened, Josh said, that he had been driving a mustang convertible and would be happy to let me use it for a week...So there I was, driving the mustang with the warm wind in my face, to St. Meinrads.
What has it been like at St. Meinrads?
Silence, Solitude...
A lot of time to think and pray.
Time to read and write.
I have ordered my days like this:
Wake around 6:00am or so (I'm not setting my alarm!)
Pray and Read
Jog (I have a path I take that winds around a few small lakes, through woods, up a hill, etc.)
Shower, Shave
7:00 call Jenny and the kids
7:30 Breakfast (usually no one is in the eating room; breakfast is served continental style)
8:00 Return to my room; pray
9:00 Go to the library and work
12:00 Lunch
12:30 Break, lay on my bed and think
1:00-4:30 work in the library; read; write; prep sermons.
4:30 check e-mail
5:00 dinner (again by myself)
5:30 rest
6:00 Jog (same route)
Shower
7:00-11:00 work...in the evenings I spend more time thinking about my calling, what work I want to do this year; I also take time to pray for the congregation.
Sleep
This has been a good time for me. It has been a time to rest and think. I feel like I have owned spiritual truth and reality here because I've had time to meditate and pray and chew on things. So I'm glad for this time. But will be glad to be home soon too!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Jacob did it...
Well, Jacob finally did it! He got contacts.
This should help his running career a bit. The rain was pouring down in one of the last races he ran. I'm not sure how he was able to see because I thought surly he could use some wind shied wipers on his glasses! Thankfully, the race was on a track...After that race I determined that he at least would try contacts...we'll see if he wears them! : )
This should help his running career a bit. The rain was pouring down in one of the last races he ran. I'm not sure how he was able to see because I thought surly he could use some wind shied wipers on his glasses! Thankfully, the race was on a track...After that race I determined that he at least would try contacts...we'll see if he wears them! : )
A Welcome Home Surprises...
On our flight home we had a layover in Houston. Walking toward our gate I heard a familiar voice call out my name. Now, I had just been traveling all over the world and was not expecting anyone to know me!! It happened to be a much loved coach from Jacob's middle school, Harshman. It was Coach V.
When you look back on your life there are certain people that stand out in your mind. They may be coaches, teachers, or friends. Coach V is one of those people. I don't know how many kids he has had contact with but I know there will be a string of kids that refer back to their school day experiences and say, "If it hadn't been for Coach V believing in me...I wouldn't be were I am today!"
Seeing Coach V was part of our transitioning back home. It was a sweet reminder of all the good things we like about our life here in Indy!
We give thanks for Coach V and all the other adults who make a difference in the lives of kids.
When you look back on your life there are certain people that stand out in your mind. They may be coaches, teachers, or friends. Coach V is one of those people. I don't know how many kids he has had contact with but I know there will be a string of kids that refer back to their school day experiences and say, "If it hadn't been for Coach V believing in me...I wouldn't be were I am today!"
Seeing Coach V was part of our transitioning back home. It was a sweet reminder of all the good things we like about our life here in Indy!
We give thanks for Coach V and all the other adults who make a difference in the lives of kids.
The climb of death part 2 - well actually it was in a boat!
Around 10am one morning, Jacob decided that he would swim out to the buoy. We are staying at our cousins beach house on Camano Island. Uncle Roger was telling Jacob how he often goes for a swim...and Jason was telling Jacob how he often went for a swim when he was Jacob's age..so Jacob is all pumped up and ready and decides he will also go for his "own" swim.
It's not warm out and the water is cold (50 degrees F or perhaps lower) cold enough to be very cold. It's the Puget Sound. Jacob starts his swim and looks strong. Then Jason notices that Jacob is breathing hard and starting to grunt - then Jacob begins floating on his back. That's when we realize Jacob is in trouble. Anyway, Jacob had the presence of mind to swim to the boat that was at anchored. He pulled the ladder out and climbed in. Jason scrambled around and found the oars to the row boat and headed out to rescue Jacob.
Sometimes when we need some one to rescue us we think that we have failed in our task. This was such a proud moment for Jason and I as we saw Jacob problem solve and realize his limits. It's not easy to ask for help or wait to be rescued...some people would see this as a defeat but we saw it as a great victory for Jacob!
----
Jacob also had a 2nd adventure that same day. It involved a boat and lots of cold water....you'll have to ask Jacob for the rest of the story!
It's not warm out and the water is cold (50 degrees F or perhaps lower) cold enough to be very cold. It's the Puget Sound. Jacob starts his swim and looks strong. Then Jason notices that Jacob is breathing hard and starting to grunt - then Jacob begins floating on his back. That's when we realize Jacob is in trouble. Anyway, Jacob had the presence of mind to swim to the boat that was at anchored. He pulled the ladder out and climbed in. Jason scrambled around and found the oars to the row boat and headed out to rescue Jacob.
Sometimes when we need some one to rescue us we think that we have failed in our task. This was such a proud moment for Jason and I as we saw Jacob problem solve and realize his limits. It's not easy to ask for help or wait to be rescued...some people would see this as a defeat but we saw it as a great victory for Jacob!
----
Jacob also had a 2nd adventure that same day. It involved a boat and lots of cold water....you'll have to ask Jacob for the rest of the story!
What makes your heart sing...
Jason drove off Sunday afternoon for St. Meinrads in a mustang for the last week of his sabbatical.
What makes Jason's heart sing? I can tell you!!!
1. People
2. Salmon Fishing, and
3. Driving a convertible mustang
There have been several moments during our sabbatical where I saw Jason experience pure joy. Driving the Mustang was one of those times!
One of the things we will take away from our sabbatical was the time Jason spent learning more about Winston Churchill. Churchill worked hard and he played hard. I think we are always afraid to "play hard" because it seems so unnecessary and a waste of time, money and resources. What we have learned from Churchill is the necessity to play hard - which in the end does rejuvenate the soul and prepare you to work hard.
So with that in mind and the question we were to answer from our sabbatical grant, "What makes your heart sing?", Jason rented a convertible mustang! It's funny how some things can bring such joy and laughter to your soul as driving around in a convertible mustang. I can't think of a better way to end our time together as a family than having each one of us ask Jason/dad to take us for another ride around the block...in the Mustang!
Errands...
Errands...not much fun but necessary - actually, I had a lot of fun grocery shopping! I was back at my favorite grocery store, Aldi.
Since we've been back, this is what my week has looked like.
Tuesday: Grocery shop
Wednesday: Register Jacob at Tech, Julian and Judah at Attucks. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Thursday: Julian at the orthodontist and Julian and Jackie at the dentist. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Friday: School supply shopping. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Saturday: Recuperate
Sunday: Church and haircuts for 4 kids
Monday: 1 dentist apt and 2 eye appointments. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Tuesday: Do nothing - last day of summer vacation. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Wednesday: First day of school
After looking at Jacob and Julian's class schedule we are all looking forward to a challenging school year.
Julian, 8th grade at Attuckes) will be taking Algebra II, high school Chemistry, Latin, Honors Social Studies, Honors Language Arts, PE and Advanced Band (Julian plays the saxophone). Julian will be playing soccer in the fall and basketball in the winter.
Jacob will be taking Chemistry, Scientific Research, AP US History, English, Latin, Pre Calculus and thank goodness...gym. Jacob will run Xcountry in the fall, backstage crew for the drama productions as his schedule allows and Track in the spring.
Judah will start as a 6th grader at Attucks. He is looking forward to having a locker and changing class. He will be taking art with his good friend Tyrecce and they will probably have several study sessions together as they both will be in the same Math Transitions II class. Judah will also be taking Etymology the first semester and Latin the 2nd semester. Judah will play soccer and then spend the rest of the year recuperating from the whirlwind of transition of being a middle schooler. He is really excited and feels well prepared. We will stop by the school one more time today so that he can do a practice run and find all of his classes.
Jackie is looking forward to finally having one of our favorite teachers, Mrs. Perry. She will also transition and move upstairs with all the big kids! Mrs. Perry is known for having perfect attendance and Jackie is going to try to get perfect attendance this year as well. Mrs. Perry has taught all of our kids and says she is really looking forward to having a Dorsey this year! After traveling in England and seeing all the children walk or ride their bikes to school, Jackie and I are going to try to ride our bikes to school but have decided it will all depend upon the weather!
I'm going to take a big breath once school starts and sit quietly on my front porch contemplating all the things I have done in this last year!
Since we've been back, this is what my week has looked like.
Tuesday: Grocery shop
Wednesday: Register Jacob at Tech, Julian and Judah at Attucks. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Thursday: Julian at the orthodontist and Julian and Jackie at the dentist. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Friday: School supply shopping. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Saturday: Recuperate
Sunday: Church and haircuts for 4 kids
Monday: 1 dentist apt and 2 eye appointments. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Tuesday: Do nothing - last day of summer vacation. Soccer and Xcountry practice.
Wednesday: First day of school
After looking at Jacob and Julian's class schedule we are all looking forward to a challenging school year.
Julian, 8th grade at Attuckes) will be taking Algebra II, high school Chemistry, Latin, Honors Social Studies, Honors Language Arts, PE and Advanced Band (Julian plays the saxophone). Julian will be playing soccer in the fall and basketball in the winter.
Jacob will be taking Chemistry, Scientific Research, AP US History, English, Latin, Pre Calculus and thank goodness...gym. Jacob will run Xcountry in the fall, backstage crew for the drama productions as his schedule allows and Track in the spring.
Judah will start as a 6th grader at Attucks. He is looking forward to having a locker and changing class. He will be taking art with his good friend Tyrecce and they will probably have several study sessions together as they both will be in the same Math Transitions II class. Judah will also be taking Etymology the first semester and Latin the 2nd semester. Judah will play soccer and then spend the rest of the year recuperating from the whirlwind of transition of being a middle schooler. He is really excited and feels well prepared. We will stop by the school one more time today so that he can do a practice run and find all of his classes.
Jackie is looking forward to finally having one of our favorite teachers, Mrs. Perry. She will also transition and move upstairs with all the big kids! Mrs. Perry is known for having perfect attendance and Jackie is going to try to get perfect attendance this year as well. Mrs. Perry has taught all of our kids and says she is really looking forward to having a Dorsey this year! After traveling in England and seeing all the children walk or ride their bikes to school, Jackie and I are going to try to ride our bikes to school but have decided it will all depend upon the weather!
I'm going to take a big breath once school starts and sit quietly on my front porch contemplating all the things I have done in this last year!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Can you help us out?!!
Next Saturday night at Redeemer at 6:30 pm we are supposed to share stories and pictures of our trip. I am wondering what would be of interest to you? What would you like to hear about?!!
You can email me with your thoughts. I'm a little overwhelmed when I think of the hundreds and thousands of pictures we have!
-Jenny
You can email me with your thoughts. I'm a little overwhelmed when I think of the hundreds and thousands of pictures we have!
-Jenny
Restringing the Bow
I'm sitting here at the desk, relaxing in our house and listening to music on Nathan's Partain's music web sight: "The Lord is my delight...In him I have everything. To him my soul belongs"...
It is gesture, for me, of rest. I know that all around me are trials and troubles, sorrows and work. I am aware that my colleagues at Redeemer have borne a heavy work load in my absence. I am aware of the heavy lifting awaiting me on my return.
But for now, I rest. One way that I have described our sabbatical season is "the unbending of the bow." Being away from my work, from the constant cares and bearing of burdens that come with pastoral ministry, being with my family on a journey of a lifetime, and doing things I love to do such as travelling and fishing, all have allowed me to "unbend the bow."
The strings have fallen from their notch. The bow is relaxed, at rest, no longer taunt. Unbent.
So how do I feel about the work that awaits me?
I see the work before me more clearly than I did 8 years ago (when our family moved to Indy and I began serving as pastor at Redeemer). I see before me the great suffering and sadness and brokenness of our city. I see the aches and longings and trials of the hearts of the members of my congregation. I see, also, the vast, unbounded potential in them to change and renew our beloved city as they experience in deeper and deeper ways the grace of Jesus and learn to live out their core identity. I see a whole generation of young people in our city being raised without a father. And I see the need for raising up a host of gospel pace-setting leaders to reach this next generation. I see the need, now more than ever, to cultivate life-giving spiritual friendships. I see the need for collaborators across the sectors of life to partner together on our common cause of city renewal. And to all that are willing to share in the work of the gospel I say, in the words of Churchill, all I have to promise is "blood, toil, tears and sweat."
But as I look at all the work that is before us, and the blood, toil, tears and sweat that will be ours, I do so with a sense of great buoyancy and confidence. Christ our King is a great Savior! He, our leader, goes before us preparing the way! His name is worthy of our greatest and noblest exertions! He is the Great Comforter and will care for us in all of our sorrows.
It is gesture, for me, of rest. I know that all around me are trials and troubles, sorrows and work. I am aware that my colleagues at Redeemer have borne a heavy work load in my absence. I am aware of the heavy lifting awaiting me on my return.
But for now, I rest. One way that I have described our sabbatical season is "the unbending of the bow." Being away from my work, from the constant cares and bearing of burdens that come with pastoral ministry, being with my family on a journey of a lifetime, and doing things I love to do such as travelling and fishing, all have allowed me to "unbend the bow."
The strings have fallen from their notch. The bow is relaxed, at rest, no longer taunt. Unbent.
So how do I feel about the work that awaits me?
I see the work before me more clearly than I did 8 years ago (when our family moved to Indy and I began serving as pastor at Redeemer). I see before me the great suffering and sadness and brokenness of our city. I see the aches and longings and trials of the hearts of the members of my congregation. I see, also, the vast, unbounded potential in them to change and renew our beloved city as they experience in deeper and deeper ways the grace of Jesus and learn to live out their core identity. I see a whole generation of young people in our city being raised without a father. And I see the need for raising up a host of gospel pace-setting leaders to reach this next generation. I see the need, now more than ever, to cultivate life-giving spiritual friendships. I see the need for collaborators across the sectors of life to partner together on our common cause of city renewal. And to all that are willing to share in the work of the gospel I say, in the words of Churchill, all I have to promise is "blood, toil, tears and sweat."
But as I look at all the work that is before us, and the blood, toil, tears and sweat that will be ours, I do so with a sense of great buoyancy and confidence. Christ our King is a great Savior! He, our leader, goes before us preparing the way! His name is worthy of our greatest and noblest exertions! He is the Great Comforter and will care for us in all of our sorrows.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
First glimps of my garden and I pet my rabbit...
I woke up this morning around 9 am. I don't know about that time change thing but several of us went to bed around 2am! Anyway, I woke up and wandered downstairs happy to be home.
I'm happy to see the house is now down to 72 degrees F instead of the 85 degrees we came home to. I fiddled with a couple of air vents and used an industrial size fan to blow the cool air from downstairs to the upstairs. I wrapped some of the attic vents so as to shut them off and force the air into the 2nd floor - boy do you have to love these old houses! I couldn't help but chuckle as my kids were trying to play in their rooms with sweat trickling down their faces. Sorry to say but that is a first time experience for us this summer.
We counted up all the hot days we had during our 10 weeks and came up with 1 in California, 3 in Oregon and 1 in England. Other than that is was sweat shirts and fleeces or coats the whole time.
I was so happy to get a first glimpse of "my" garden this morning and can't wait to pick some fresh veggies! I want to say that it looks like a wild jungle but that doesn't quite catch the orderly rows I see. I think the wildness would describe how large and lush everything looks! (A special thanks to all of you who have been gardening) : )
And so, that's when Judah's rabbit, Oreo, got my attention. He was definitely demanding that I pet him. He likes to have the place between his eye's scratched. He's a funny rabbit and must be part cat and dog as well. For now, he sure fills part of the place Zoe has left.
I'm happy to see the house is now down to 72 degrees F instead of the 85 degrees we came home to. I fiddled with a couple of air vents and used an industrial size fan to blow the cool air from downstairs to the upstairs. I wrapped some of the attic vents so as to shut them off and force the air into the 2nd floor - boy do you have to love these old houses! I couldn't help but chuckle as my kids were trying to play in their rooms with sweat trickling down their faces. Sorry to say but that is a first time experience for us this summer.
We counted up all the hot days we had during our 10 weeks and came up with 1 in California, 3 in Oregon and 1 in England. Other than that is was sweat shirts and fleeces or coats the whole time.
I was so happy to get a first glimpse of "my" garden this morning and can't wait to pick some fresh veggies! I want to say that it looks like a wild jungle but that doesn't quite catch the orderly rows I see. I think the wildness would describe how large and lush everything looks! (A special thanks to all of you who have been gardening) : )
And so, that's when Judah's rabbit, Oreo, got my attention. He was definitely demanding that I pet him. He likes to have the place between his eye's scratched. He's a funny rabbit and must be part cat and dog as well. For now, he sure fills part of the place Zoe has left.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Inching down I-5...toward home
This is the last leg of our sabbatical trip. Driving down I-5 today Jason and I looked at each other and I told him to just keep pressing us on inch by inch.
I wasn't sure we would make it to our hotel. Jason had a head ache, three of our kids had had various melt downs and we were all tired and worn out from staying up late. I was even strugling to keep it together. Saying good bye takes a lot of work.
This has been such a big trip with so many surprises and adventures - but we are ready to come home.
I wasn't sure we would make it to our hotel. Jason had a head ache, three of our kids had had various melt downs and we were all tired and worn out from staying up late. I was even strugling to keep it together. Saying good bye takes a lot of work.
This has been such a big trip with so many surprises and adventures - but we are ready to come home.
If you know me...
If you know me, you know how much music means to me. It's what cracks my soul wide open. It's what makes my heart soft. It helps me forgive and climb out of the pit of despair. It reminds me of who I am and where I am going.
(If you click the words "listen" on my blog posts you'll be able to hear the song!)
(If you click the words "listen" on my blog posts you'll be able to hear the song!)
I am Dead and Fully Buried....fresh from the grave...
listen
I am One of Those
I am one of those, at the table not invited,
And to all here at the feast it’s very plain,
I cannot hide in etiquette or conversation,
But Christ himself sent word to me and so I came.
I am one of those who was dead and fully buried,
And I still bear every stigma of decay,
There is no way I can cover what I’ve been through,
‘cause when Jesus called I came fresh from the grave.
Though the world may number me among the foolish,
I think Jesus Christ is all I need to know
Jesus suffered and paid blood to buy the lowest of the low
Hallelujah! Amen! That’s me! Yes, I am one of those!
I am one of those, who was a leper and contagious,
The deformities and scars I have today,
Yet while I was vile with sickness Jesus loved me,
And He healed, restored and through and through remade.
I am one of those who was doomed to death in prison,
And I’ve done more evil things than I could say,
Jesus broke inside and there unlocked my shackles,
And to set me free, he died and took my place.
Though the world may number me among the foolish,
I think Jesus Christ is all I need to know
Jesus suffered and paid blood to buy the lowest of the low
Hallelujah! Amen! That’s me! Yes, I am one of those!
I am one of those, who is hard to love and ugly,
Self-Righteous critical religion was my stain.
So I ran Christ to wash and be discovered,
Jesus came to me and covered up my shame.
Though the world may number me among the foolish,
I think Jesus Christ is all I need to know
Jesus suffered and paid blood to buy the lowest of the low
Hallelujah! Amen! That’s me! Yes, I am one of those!
(c) 2009 Nathan Partain
I am One of Those
I am one of those, at the table not invited,
And to all here at the feast it’s very plain,
I cannot hide in etiquette or conversation,
But Christ himself sent word to me and so I came.
I am one of those who was dead and fully buried,
And I still bear every stigma of decay,
There is no way I can cover what I’ve been through,
‘cause when Jesus called I came fresh from the grave.
Though the world may number me among the foolish,
I think Jesus Christ is all I need to know
Jesus suffered and paid blood to buy the lowest of the low
Hallelujah! Amen! That’s me! Yes, I am one of those!
I am one of those, who was a leper and contagious,
The deformities and scars I have today,
Yet while I was vile with sickness Jesus loved me,
And He healed, restored and through and through remade.
I am one of those who was doomed to death in prison,
And I’ve done more evil things than I could say,
Jesus broke inside and there unlocked my shackles,
And to set me free, he died and took my place.
Though the world may number me among the foolish,
I think Jesus Christ is all I need to know
Jesus suffered and paid blood to buy the lowest of the low
Hallelujah! Amen! That’s me! Yes, I am one of those!
I am one of those, who is hard to love and ugly,
Self-Righteous critical religion was my stain.
So I ran Christ to wash and be discovered,
Jesus came to me and covered up my shame.
Though the world may number me among the foolish,
I think Jesus Christ is all I need to know
Jesus suffered and paid blood to buy the lowest of the low
Hallelujah! Amen! That’s me! Yes, I am one of those!
(c) 2009 Nathan Partain
Sweet Love and little surprises around the bend...
This morning we drove off the Island and headed down I-5 toward Seattle. We were saying our final goodbyes to family for another year. 365 days.
Jason's brother Jed gave us a cd mix he had made and told us to listen to it. We liked the first couple of songs but didn't recognize the artists. Then a couple songs by Rich Mullins came on. (You know, he's an Indiana Boy!) Track 6 begins and I think to myself, "I know that song. It sounds like one of the artists in our church but it can't be. Must be another band that has a smilar sound and similar song!" And before the intro was over I knew it was my favorite song that Wolfy had written at our church!
So I'm driving down I-5 saying goodbye to family and listening to Wolfy. It is one of those little surprises in life that makes me always want to see what is around the bend.
listen
Jason's brother Jed gave us a cd mix he had made and told us to listen to it. We liked the first couple of songs but didn't recognize the artists. Then a couple songs by Rich Mullins came on. (You know, he's an Indiana Boy!) Track 6 begins and I think to myself, "I know that song. It sounds like one of the artists in our church but it can't be. Must be another band that has a smilar sound and similar song!" And before the intro was over I knew it was my favorite song that Wolfy had written at our church!
So I'm driving down I-5 saying goodbye to family and listening to Wolfy. It is one of those little surprises in life that makes me always want to see what is around the bend.
listen
Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy
This morning, on our way off Camano Island (for the last time this summer) and to Seattle (to worship at Green Lake Presbyterian Church) we stopped at my grandmother's house to say one last goodbye to her. She is 103 years old.
She hugged me and said "Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy"...That is all she said, "Joy" again and again.
And in those words, perhaps the last words of my grandmother that I will ever hear, I tasted the fruit of God's healing grace in the soul.
She hugged me and said "Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy"...That is all she said, "Joy" again and again.
And in those words, perhaps the last words of my grandmother that I will ever hear, I tasted the fruit of God's healing grace in the soul.
Turning towards home...and thoughts about Zoe
As we anticipate coming home the reality of missing Zoe becomes more and more real. I miss her, we miss her. I miss not hearing her little nails clickity clack on our wood floors. It's hard not to look for her in her favorite sleeping spots.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Beach Boys & Highway 101
Funny but I heard this song by the Beach Boys as we drove along the Oregon / California Coast (Highway 101). It stuck in my mind but now that we are about to head home it keeps running through my head over and over! : ) Can't wait to go home!
Beach Boys - Sloop John B
So hoist up the john bs sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don't you let me go home
I feel so broke up I wanna go home
Let me go home
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/beach+boys/#share
See you all soon... Jenny
Beach Boys - Sloop John B
So hoist up the john bs sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don't you let me go home
I feel so broke up I wanna go home
Let me go home
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/beach+boys/#share
See you all soon... Jenny
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
What Makes My Heart Sing
This afternoon I commented that I haven't read a book all week! I haven't read a book all week because I have been occupied with salmon fishing.
For me, being on the water early in the morning, seeing the sun rise, tasting the salt water, rocking with the pound of the surf, watching salmon jump, casting my line toward the fin of a salmon in the water, feeling the tug of a salmon on my pole, and fighting and bringing in a big salmon, makes my heart sing.
The goal of our sabbatical grant from the Lilly Foundation was to plan a sabbatical that would make your heart sing: by God's grace that has been accomplished!
For me, being on the water early in the morning, seeing the sun rise, tasting the salt water, rocking with the pound of the surf, watching salmon jump, casting my line toward the fin of a salmon in the water, feeling the tug of a salmon on my pole, and fighting and bringing in a big salmon, makes my heart sing.
The goal of our sabbatical grant from the Lilly Foundation was to plan a sabbatical that would make your heart sing: by God's grace that has been accomplished!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A "Loyal Helper" and "Treasured Listener"
Over the last week I've had the joy of "identity mapping" my dad, Jack, and my sister-in-law, Renae.
I didn't "formally" identity-map my dad. He is to much of a contrarian to want to sit through a structured meeting. But over the couple of days that we spent together - driving to Campbell River (Vancouver, BC), staying at Painter's Lodge, spending a couple of days fishing for Springs (King Salmon), eating meals together, etc. - I was able to get to know a bit more of what makes my dad tick.
What I discovered is that dad is a "Loyal Helper."
One of the things that aggravated me when I was younger is that dad has passions and convictions about everything - from baseball technique to politics to social issues to anything else you could imagine - and he was always making some important point about them. He also has a series of "lectures" where he shares, with me or anyone else who is willing to listen, important life lessons (It really doesn't matter if you've heard them 100 times!). What I realized is that dad is loyal. He is loyal to the ideas and convictions and life lessons he's learned. He is loyal to the people who he learned them from. Realizing that Dad has a deep down loyalty to these things, and to me, has helped me to understand where he is coming from.
Another thing I realized about dad is that he is a Helper. All of his life he has been helping people: his parents, his kids, his friends, his neighbors. When you boil his life down to the bottom-line my dad has been a person who has come alongside other people with help. Sometimes dad hasn't drawn the best boundaries, and he has extended himself to far in his helping. And while dad doesn't have the personality type to be an entrepreneour and bring all his dreams and visions to reality, he IS great at coming alongside something - a project, a problem - and helping, finding solutions, making it better.
Discovering that my dad's core identity is to be a "Loyal Helper" has given me both perspective on the past and direction for our relationship to move forward in the future.
I also had the honor of identity mapping my sister-in-law Renae. She is a gracious, lovely person and it was really wonderful to get to know how she is wired. Jenny sat in on the Identity-Mapping session and took notes on the computer.
What we discovered about Renae is that she is a "Treasured Listener." Renae loves to listen; she listens to people and relationships and spaces. She loves to know people; how they are wired, what makes them tick. She knows them by listening. She is pained when relationships are hurt and broken; so she listens to know people and to bring peace and counsel. She loves to listen to spaces and understand how they can best be organized to bring comfort and peace to those people who will use those spaces. Renae treasures people by listening to them, by taking time to really know them.
We talked about Renae's longing to be treasured; how there is a wound or canyon in her heart in not being treasured the way that she longs for. We talked about how God treasures her. God is the ultimate Listener: the one who has Listened to Renae, who knows her. God is the Listener who is weaving her life together in such a way to deconstruct her and to heal her.
Both Dad's and Renae's callings are big, immense. For them to fully live into their God-given identity is more than they can do alone. They need to know God as their ultimate "Helper" and "Listener". And they need to learn to let people "help" them and "listen" to them and support them in their callings.
I didn't "formally" identity-map my dad. He is to much of a contrarian to want to sit through a structured meeting. But over the couple of days that we spent together - driving to Campbell River (Vancouver, BC), staying at Painter's Lodge, spending a couple of days fishing for Springs (King Salmon), eating meals together, etc. - I was able to get to know a bit more of what makes my dad tick.
What I discovered is that dad is a "Loyal Helper."
One of the things that aggravated me when I was younger is that dad has passions and convictions about everything - from baseball technique to politics to social issues to anything else you could imagine - and he was always making some important point about them. He also has a series of "lectures" where he shares, with me or anyone else who is willing to listen, important life lessons (It really doesn't matter if you've heard them 100 times!). What I realized is that dad is loyal. He is loyal to the ideas and convictions and life lessons he's learned. He is loyal to the people who he learned them from. Realizing that Dad has a deep down loyalty to these things, and to me, has helped me to understand where he is coming from.
Another thing I realized about dad is that he is a Helper. All of his life he has been helping people: his parents, his kids, his friends, his neighbors. When you boil his life down to the bottom-line my dad has been a person who has come alongside other people with help. Sometimes dad hasn't drawn the best boundaries, and he has extended himself to far in his helping. And while dad doesn't have the personality type to be an entrepreneour and bring all his dreams and visions to reality, he IS great at coming alongside something - a project, a problem - and helping, finding solutions, making it better.
Discovering that my dad's core identity is to be a "Loyal Helper" has given me both perspective on the past and direction for our relationship to move forward in the future.
I also had the honor of identity mapping my sister-in-law Renae. She is a gracious, lovely person and it was really wonderful to get to know how she is wired. Jenny sat in on the Identity-Mapping session and took notes on the computer.
What we discovered about Renae is that she is a "Treasured Listener." Renae loves to listen; she listens to people and relationships and spaces. She loves to know people; how they are wired, what makes them tick. She knows them by listening. She is pained when relationships are hurt and broken; so she listens to know people and to bring peace and counsel. She loves to listen to spaces and understand how they can best be organized to bring comfort and peace to those people who will use those spaces. Renae treasures people by listening to them, by taking time to really know them.
We talked about Renae's longing to be treasured; how there is a wound or canyon in her heart in not being treasured the way that she longs for. We talked about how God treasures her. God is the ultimate Listener: the one who has Listened to Renae, who knows her. God is the Listener who is weaving her life together in such a way to deconstruct her and to heal her.
Both Dad's and Renae's callings are big, immense. For them to fully live into their God-given identity is more than they can do alone. They need to know God as their ultimate "Helper" and "Listener". And they need to learn to let people "help" them and "listen" to them and support them in their callings.
How Salmon Fishing Is Like Being a Pastor
Jesus' first disciples, Peter and Andrew, James and John, were fishermen. When he called them to come and follow him, he told them that he would make them "fishers of men".
Over the last couple of days I've been reflecting on how fishing resembles pastoring in a number of ways.
1. First, fishermen have to be patient, persistent, to catch fish. You can't catch fish if your lure is not in the water, if you're not fishing. So fishermen wake early in the morning. They fish in all kinds of weather, in the cold and rain; they wait, they cast...then suddenly they find that they are in the right place at the right time and they have a fish on! Pastors too, have to be patient and persistent. Pastors wait, they bide their time, nothing seems to be happening, then suddenly a life crisis hits and a person's heart opens up to the reality of God. Suddenly a person who has been spiritual dead and distant and cold comes spiritually alive and the pastor is there, waiting, fanning the flames.
2. Second, fishermen learn to fish where the fish are. Salmon travel in schools. Fishermen learn to find the salmon, to follow and fish where the salmon are schooling. Fly fishing for salmon in Canada I've learned to watch for schools of salmon. When I see them jump or fin, I cast my fly in front of them and slowly drag the fly in their path. When I cast to where fish are, often I'll feel a tug, the pull of a salmon. In the same way, humans are "social animals". We go in "schools". We work together, play together, eat together. Pastors learn to go where people are. They learn to find places where they can strike up conversations, and relationships. In Seattle I spent a lot of time at a coffee shop called Zoka. It was a great place to work. More importantly, it was a great place to meet people, to make friends. I love my calling as a pastor because I am drawn to people, drawn into our common shared life in the city, drawn into friendship and solidarity with my neighbors.
3. Third, fishermen make sure their lure/fly is clean, free of seaweed. A lure or a fly will not attract fish if it is covered with seaweed. Whenever there is seaweed on my fly I clean it off; I don't even try to cast with it. In the same way, pastors need to make sure they are presenting the pure gospel and not a message that is covered or distorted by human traditions or religious accretions. When I share the good news of Jesus Christ I want people to understand the pure, simple gospel: Our broken relationship to God because of our sin; God's love for sinners demonstrated in his giving of His only Son to die on the cross for us; our new identity as sons and daughters of God by faith in Jesus Christ. If people reject Jesus, I want them to reject the real thing, not reject a false idea of what Christianity is.
4. Fourth, God is the great fishermen. He fishes for us lost, broken, rebel sinners with infinite patience and perserverance and love. He pursues us through the cold and wind and waves. He casts the beautiful gospel our way, and slowly moves it through our lives in such a way that we hunger for it, we grasp for it and we take the hook of Jesus. I'm so thankful that God's gospel lure - Jesus - caught me. I fought and struggled against the Fishermen but he did not let me go. He drew me in, and captured my heart, and made me his own.
5. Fifth, there is one significant difference between fishing for salmon and fishing with the gospel of Jesus Christ for people. The end of fishing for salmon is to catch and kill the salmon and to have a delicious salmon dinner at the end of the fishing day. But, in contrast, the end of catching people with the gospel is not death; it is life. To be caught by the gospel of Jesus is to be brought into "abundant life" - a life where one knows one's identity (as a beloved child of God), a life where one knows one's purpose (to live for the glory of God and the good of others), a life where one experiences new and fresh experiences of God's love and grace, again and again, through joy and suffering, all they way to life forevermore.
I love fishing. But I love, infinitely more, to be a fisher of men and women, a fisher of souls.
Over the last couple of days I've been reflecting on how fishing resembles pastoring in a number of ways.
1. First, fishermen have to be patient, persistent, to catch fish. You can't catch fish if your lure is not in the water, if you're not fishing. So fishermen wake early in the morning. They fish in all kinds of weather, in the cold and rain; they wait, they cast...then suddenly they find that they are in the right place at the right time and they have a fish on! Pastors too, have to be patient and persistent. Pastors wait, they bide their time, nothing seems to be happening, then suddenly a life crisis hits and a person's heart opens up to the reality of God. Suddenly a person who has been spiritual dead and distant and cold comes spiritually alive and the pastor is there, waiting, fanning the flames.
2. Second, fishermen learn to fish where the fish are. Salmon travel in schools. Fishermen learn to find the salmon, to follow and fish where the salmon are schooling. Fly fishing for salmon in Canada I've learned to watch for schools of salmon. When I see them jump or fin, I cast my fly in front of them and slowly drag the fly in their path. When I cast to where fish are, often I'll feel a tug, the pull of a salmon. In the same way, humans are "social animals". We go in "schools". We work together, play together, eat together. Pastors learn to go where people are. They learn to find places where they can strike up conversations, and relationships. In Seattle I spent a lot of time at a coffee shop called Zoka. It was a great place to work. More importantly, it was a great place to meet people, to make friends. I love my calling as a pastor because I am drawn to people, drawn into our common shared life in the city, drawn into friendship and solidarity with my neighbors.
3. Third, fishermen make sure their lure/fly is clean, free of seaweed. A lure or a fly will not attract fish if it is covered with seaweed. Whenever there is seaweed on my fly I clean it off; I don't even try to cast with it. In the same way, pastors need to make sure they are presenting the pure gospel and not a message that is covered or distorted by human traditions or religious accretions. When I share the good news of Jesus Christ I want people to understand the pure, simple gospel: Our broken relationship to God because of our sin; God's love for sinners demonstrated in his giving of His only Son to die on the cross for us; our new identity as sons and daughters of God by faith in Jesus Christ. If people reject Jesus, I want them to reject the real thing, not reject a false idea of what Christianity is.
4. Fourth, God is the great fishermen. He fishes for us lost, broken, rebel sinners with infinite patience and perserverance and love. He pursues us through the cold and wind and waves. He casts the beautiful gospel our way, and slowly moves it through our lives in such a way that we hunger for it, we grasp for it and we take the hook of Jesus. I'm so thankful that God's gospel lure - Jesus - caught me. I fought and struggled against the Fishermen but he did not let me go. He drew me in, and captured my heart, and made me his own.
5. Fifth, there is one significant difference between fishing for salmon and fishing with the gospel of Jesus Christ for people. The end of fishing for salmon is to catch and kill the salmon and to have a delicious salmon dinner at the end of the fishing day. But, in contrast, the end of catching people with the gospel is not death; it is life. To be caught by the gospel of Jesus is to be brought into "abundant life" - a life where one knows one's identity (as a beloved child of God), a life where one knows one's purpose (to live for the glory of God and the good of others), a life where one experiences new and fresh experiences of God's love and grace, again and again, through joy and suffering, all they way to life forevermore.
I love fishing. But I love, infinitely more, to be a fisher of men and women, a fisher of souls.
Bad Fishing Day...Good Fishing Day
Yesterday I had a bad fishing day. I woke up early (5:30), woke my brother Jed up (his tent is next to ours), pulled on my waders, grabbed my fly pole and walked down the beach to where fishing has been good. Shane and his dad, Moon, where already fishing.
There was no wind. The water was calm.
Schools of pink salmon where coming by us, all around us. You could see them jumping and finning (when you see their fin on top of the water).
My adrenaline was going. But no fish. Shane caught four that morning. Fish where being caught all around us. And I struggled. My fly got tangled. All kinds of problems...
Then the waves started getting bigger, so big that we had to jump when they came in. The inside of my waders filled with water. I was cold, miserable. Totally depressed.
That was yesterday. Today was different.
It was a bit more windy this morning. But this time, when the school of Pink Salmon came by I was ready and waiting. By 8:00am this morning I had caught three Pinks. So far I've caught ten salmon.
I'm fishing so much I don't have time to write.
- Jason
There was no wind. The water was calm.
Schools of pink salmon where coming by us, all around us. You could see them jumping and finning (when you see their fin on top of the water).
My adrenaline was going. But no fish. Shane caught four that morning. Fish where being caught all around us. And I struggled. My fly got tangled. All kinds of problems...
Then the waves started getting bigger, so big that we had to jump when they came in. The inside of my waders filled with water. I was cold, miserable. Totally depressed.
That was yesterday. Today was different.
It was a bit more windy this morning. But this time, when the school of Pink Salmon came by I was ready and waiting. By 8:00am this morning I had caught three Pinks. So far I've caught ten salmon.
I'm fishing so much I don't have time to write.
- Jason
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Jenny gives Jason a mandatory nap!
Blood shot eyes...Jason has the fishing fever. I finally made him take a nap!
So many fish to catch! : )
So many fish to catch! : )
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Fishing Coach Shane and First Salmon Flyfishing
This morning my friend, Shane Sunn, taught me to fly fish. Shane is a PCA pastor in Greeley, CO. He is the director of the church planting network in the Rocky Mountain Presbytery. He is also an avid fisherman.
This morning Shane taught me how to fly fish. About 1/2 hour after my lesson I saw a fish "fin" - which means come to the surface so that you can see their fin on top of the water. So I quickly cast the line toward the fish, got his attention, and hooked him. It was an incredible feeling to catch a salmon on a fly pole.
I am hooked.
This morning Shane taught me how to fly fish. About 1/2 hour after my lesson I saw a fish "fin" - which means come to the surface so that you can see their fin on top of the water. So I quickly cast the line toward the fish, got his attention, and hooked him. It was an incredible feeling to catch a salmon on a fly pole.
I am hooked.
The Farm...
One of the fun things we get to do every year is visit our cousins who live on a farm. Joshua is 15, Rachelle is 12, Heidi is turning 7 and Joya just turned 3. Their parents names are Uncle Roger and Aunt April (Jason's sister).
Living in the city doesn't always give us all the opportunities to experience life as living on a farm would. But because we have cousins who live on a farm, we get to enjoy farm life without all the chores!
My kids love doing farm chores and often wish they had "farm" chores instead of what we call "city" chores in down town Indianpolis. The reality is that chores are only fun for a while...but for now, milking the goats, feeding the chickens, dogs, cows and horses are a novelty experience.
One summer, Jacob got to help muck out the barn. Sometimes our vacation lands right during haying season. It all depends upon the weather but last year the kids and Jason help bring in the hay for the year.
The farm is one of the most beautiful places on Camano Island. You can see Mt. Baker to the left and the Cascade Range straight ahead. The farm is perched up on a hill and overlooks the bay. There is also a pond. Aunt April is also a water color artist. She has a studio which also serves as a one room school house during the year. From the farm, you can walk down to the beach. There is a dike that keeps the sea water from coming onto the farm land. The kids often swim around the point depending on the tide...it's more like slip and slide through the mud flats...but it is so fun!
We don't often get to celebrate holidays together but this year Uncle Jason got the bring the birthday cake to his niece Joya. Joya is a little bundle of happiness and lives up to her name. It's not often that Jason gets to be an uncle and he was definitly loving it...and so was Joya.
Jackie and Heidi are like two peas in a pod and nothing can separates them while they are together. Both of them love to draw and it will be interensting to see if they carry on the family tradition of art.
Rachelle has become quite a beautiful young lady over this last year. She is very thoughtful, gentle and responsible. She also has a deep love for horses and you can see that her horse loves to follow her
This year, the cousins put together a movie as Joshua has become quite the expert directer as well as producer. You will notice that Joshua is on crutches. While running to greet us he tripped and twisted his knee rather badly. His family had planned to meet up with us on our camping trip but the doctor has said that he needs to elevate his knee and not move it at all. So...they will not be able to join us and we are all quite disappointed!
Living in the city doesn't always give us all the opportunities to experience life as living on a farm would. But because we have cousins who live on a farm, we get to enjoy farm life without all the chores!
My kids love doing farm chores and often wish they had "farm" chores instead of what we call "city" chores in down town Indianpolis. The reality is that chores are only fun for a while...but for now, milking the goats, feeding the chickens, dogs, cows and horses are a novelty experience.
One summer, Jacob got to help muck out the barn. Sometimes our vacation lands right during haying season. It all depends upon the weather but last year the kids and Jason help bring in the hay for the year.
The farm is one of the most beautiful places on Camano Island. You can see Mt. Baker to the left and the Cascade Range straight ahead. The farm is perched up on a hill and overlooks the bay. There is also a pond. Aunt April is also a water color artist. She has a studio which also serves as a one room school house during the year. From the farm, you can walk down to the beach. There is a dike that keeps the sea water from coming onto the farm land. The kids often swim around the point depending on the tide...it's more like slip and slide through the mud flats...but it is so fun!
We don't often get to celebrate holidays together but this year Uncle Jason got the bring the birthday cake to his niece Joya. Joya is a little bundle of happiness and lives up to her name. It's not often that Jason gets to be an uncle and he was definitly loving it...and so was Joya.
Jackie and Heidi are like two peas in a pod and nothing can separates them while they are together. Both of them love to draw and it will be interensting to see if they carry on the family tradition of art.
Rachelle has become quite a beautiful young lady over this last year. She is very thoughtful, gentle and responsible. She also has a deep love for horses and you can see that her horse loves to follow her
This year, the cousins put together a movie as Joshua has become quite the expert directer as well as producer. You will notice that Joshua is on crutches. While running to greet us he tripped and twisted his knee rather badly. His family had planned to meet up with us on our camping trip but the doctor has said that he needs to elevate his knee and not move it at all. So...they will not be able to join us and we are all quite disappointed!
Making Friends...
Today my kids made friends with the other "camp" kids and had a rousing game of badminton!
Jackie has been making clam shell bird's nests with Spanish moss and beach rocks. Now she is working on sea shell necklaces.
Jacob has been tracking a deer...and found it sleeping.
Jackie has been making clam shell bird's nests with Spanish moss and beach rocks. Now she is working on sea shell necklaces.
Jacob has been tracking a deer...and found it sleeping.
Fishing Competition...
Friendly competition
Turns out that my friend Jean and her husband Shane Sunn are at the same campground that we are at! Actually, we are at their campground.
I met Jean several years ago and found out that her husband was also an avid fisherman - as well as a PCA pastor. She told me about their favorite fishing hole. Currently, the salmon are starting to run and in a few days / week or so they should be thicker than pea soup - you can practically catch them with your bare hands!
Jason and Shane were tied when I took this photo but Jason caught a salmon this morning and Shane has not returned yet...so we will see how the evening winds up!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Cluxewe, Vancouver Island BC
Breathtaking views, salt water, lapping waves and salmon. Evergreen trees, islands, boats and mountains! Our camp ground is lovely - no mosquitoes or rain. Grandma and Grandpa are staying in a cabin which give all of us access to a real bathroom and kitchen.
Fishing with my Dad, Campbell River Vancouver Island, BC
When I was a boy my dad took me salmon fishing on the waters around Camano Island.
Salmon fishing with dad are some of my most prized memories. So it was a real joy to be able to treat dad to a couple of days at "Painters Lodge" on the Campbell River.
Besides beautiful accomodations, we had two days of salmon fishing with a guide. We went out in a small Boston Whaler (boat). Unfortunately we didn't catch any King Salmon (Canadians call them "Spring" or "Tyee" salmon). But we did have a special couple of days together...
On the water with the salt and the sea and the sound of a trolling engine, and the watching of your pole waiting for that elusive tug...
Fishing Widow...
Jason and his brother Jed
I've become a fishing widow...On the 2 day trip up to Port McNeil, I talked to Jsaon a couple of times by phone. He was on a two day fishing trip with his dad.
I would be talking to Jason on the phone and realize I had a bad cell connection...then I realized he wasn't listening to me anymore because something was "happening", a fish was being caught!
Well, I've resigned myself to a lovely and wonderful week of salmon eating! Jason's eyes sparkle and dance and are quite blood shot! I'm not sure why but I atribute it to having caught the "fishing bug".
24/7...withdrawls
I just realized that we have been together as a family for 2 months - 24/7.
Jason has been gone the last two nights and while I looked forward to having a little relational space I was not prepared for the rude awakening of withdrawls and how sad it will be when we return to Indy and all go our own spepareate ways.
Jason to work, Jacob to Tech, Julian and Judah to Attucks and Jackie to School #14. I'll be somewhere in between all of those places and probably trying to avoid the empty feeling my house has without my dog Zoe.
Jason has been gone the last two nights and while I looked forward to having a little relational space I was not prepared for the rude awakening of withdrawls and how sad it will be when we return to Indy and all go our own spepareate ways.
Jason to work, Jacob to Tech, Julian and Judah to Attucks and Jackie to School #14. I'll be somewhere in between all of those places and probably trying to avoid the empty feeling my house has without my dog Zoe.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Salmon...where are they?
Jason caught a 5 lb salmon yesterday...fishing trip with his dad has ended and no fish! Some one must not be praying...hard enough...PRAY!!!
We will be camping for the next week and Jason will be fishing off the shore. We have scheduled 3 meals that require salmon as the main course!
I drove up with Jason's mom, brother and his wife Renae yesterday. We caught the ferry at Anacortes and debarked at Sydney. We drove about 1 1/2 hours to our hotel. Today we finish the drive with a stop at Costco for camping provisions. The pool was great and we hate to leave the comfort of the hotel - for camping!
We meet up with Jason and his dad tonight. This is the first time in 2 months that Jason and I haven't been together
We will be camping for the next week and Jason will be fishing off the shore. We have scheduled 3 meals that require salmon as the main course!
I drove up with Jason's mom, brother and his wife Renae yesterday. We caught the ferry at Anacortes and debarked at Sydney. We drove about 1 1/2 hours to our hotel. Today we finish the drive with a stop at Costco for camping provisions. The pool was great and we hate to leave the comfort of the hotel - for camping!
We meet up with Jason and his dad tonight. This is the first time in 2 months that Jason and I haven't been together
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The Last Leg of our Journey begins...
Here is a map of Washington state. Camano Island is north of Seattle, a little more north of Everett. If you were to drive up I-5 you would take the Standwood/Camano Island Exit. You can scroll up on the map to see where we are going.
Today, Jason left with his dad for a father/son fishing trip. They will drive to Anacortes and take the Ferry to Victoria, BC. From there they will drive up to the Campbell River and fish for two days. We will meet them at Cluxewe Campground near Port McNeil.
We love riding the ferry. There are so many places to explore and so much beautiful seneray to enjoy.
I'm not sure if we will have internet access at our camp site...if not, we will catch up with you all next Friday! and then on to Indy!!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Lance the Boil...one more tool
I'm reading a really good book my sister gave to me on this trip. It is called "Kitchen Table Counseling" by Muriel L. Cook and Shelly Cook Volkhardt.
I'm going to copy and paraphrase what they write. It is simply profound and I hope you all will begin to use this tool.
"A hurting or troubled person often has pockets of infection resulting from hurts that are deep down in their soul like a boil.
Even if we put the right medication on a boil, it will not heal because it must be lanced so the infection can be released. When God's truth is applied at the appropriate time, it becomes the truth that heals.
When we acknowledge our pain and what causes it, that is the equivalent to opening the boil and cleaning it out. The bottom line problem needs to be addressed before deep healing can occur."
The author continues, "Carolyn wasn't aware of what was going on inside her, because she had stuffed her pain down deep into her subconscious...'I didn't know what to do with my emotional garbage, so I found a place down in my spirit and put it there'."
The author says, "I've learned that a lack of forgiveness is the root of most problems. In almost every problem situation, after peeling off the layers of grief and distress, I find a wounded spirit or an unresolved resentment. Usually, it is the result of a hurt that has not been dealt with or a pain that hasn't been relinquished to God."
-------
I have talked often with many of you on the topic of idolatry and how God's promises in the Bible are like the ointment that heals all wounds or the medicine that cures all diseases. I appreciated this perspective of lancing our sin. It hurts but the relief healing brings is priceless.
There are so many other great tools in this book...but I will save them for later!
For now, you can start by looking for your boils. You can't lance a boil if you don't know you have one.
Here is a promise of God, "I will never leave you or forsake you" (no matter how ugly your boil is!)
Judah finds a tool...
Walking along the beach the other day, Judah told me that his Grandpa Jack had given him a tool to use while they were re roofing the house.
Judah said that when you don't understand something, you should say, "I don't understand, can you explain that to me again."
Being the 3rd boy, Judah catches on very fast to whatever activity is being done. He is a quick learner. Our family often assumes that Judah understands and off we go at a break necking speed. Now Judah has a way to say, "Stop, I need help understanding" and we can then catch him up to speed and continue cruising.
It is funny the lessons my kids learn because I still find that I need to practice them as an adult.
Family of Artists
I mentioned in an earlier blog that I come from a line of artists.
If anyone is interested in looking at their different styles, etc...
Here are web-sights for:
My great grandmother: Fanny Y. Cory - www.fycory.com
My father: Jack Dorsey - www.jackdorseyart.com
My mother: Ann Dorsey - www.anncoryart.com
My brother: Jed Dorsey - www.jeddorsey.com
- Jason
If anyone is interested in looking at their different styles, etc...
Here are web-sights for:
My great grandmother: Fanny Y. Cory - www.fycory.com
My father: Jack Dorsey - www.jackdorseyart.com
My mother: Ann Dorsey - www.anncoryart.com
My brother: Jed Dorsey - www.jeddorsey.com
- Jason
My Friend Harry
I spent tonight hanging out with a childhood friend of mine, Harry Baird.
Harry moved south of our home on Camano Island, when I was about 10 years old. We became fast friends.
We fished at the beach below our house together. Harry taught me how to dig for sand-shrimp and catch flounders and perch from the drop off.
Harry played with me on the little league baseball team my dad was a coach of, Twin City. He remembers a time when he was frustrated because he had missed a ball, so he threw his mitt down in anger. My dad had run out to Harry, got in his face, and said, "Young man; we don't do that on this team."
Harry and I explored the island together, got into some trouble together, played sports together, fished together, had "wars" in the woods with our friends. After highschool our life drifted apart. But at some deep level of friendship and love and memories we share a powerful bond.
Yesterday, I got to meet Harry's wife, Maria, at the Stanwood Starbucks. And, tonight, Harry came out to Mom and Dads, we had dinner together, talked about the "glory days" then went down and fished of the point below my parents house.
Harry caught two small salmon, and lost a bigger fish. He thinks it was a Dolly Varden. I didn't have any luck; I'm chalking that up to my lure.
It was a sweet time reconnecting, and learning that we both share a passion and calling for reaching into hurting young people's lives and challenging, encouraging, and nurturing them.
I'm thankful for my old and true friend Harry!!!
Harry moved south of our home on Camano Island, when I was about 10 years old. We became fast friends.
We fished at the beach below our house together. Harry taught me how to dig for sand-shrimp and catch flounders and perch from the drop off.
Harry played with me on the little league baseball team my dad was a coach of, Twin City. He remembers a time when he was frustrated because he had missed a ball, so he threw his mitt down in anger. My dad had run out to Harry, got in his face, and said, "Young man; we don't do that on this team."
Harry and I explored the island together, got into some trouble together, played sports together, fished together, had "wars" in the woods with our friends. After highschool our life drifted apart. But at some deep level of friendship and love and memories we share a powerful bond.
Yesterday, I got to meet Harry's wife, Maria, at the Stanwood Starbucks. And, tonight, Harry came out to Mom and Dads, we had dinner together, talked about the "glory days" then went down and fished of the point below my parents house.
Harry caught two small salmon, and lost a bigger fish. He thinks it was a Dolly Varden. I didn't have any luck; I'm chalking that up to my lure.
It was a sweet time reconnecting, and learning that we both share a passion and calling for reaching into hurting young people's lives and challenging, encouraging, and nurturing them.
I'm thankful for my old and true friend Harry!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Where Should I put the Bacon & Eggs?
One of the ways I have entertained myself on this trip is by thinking up Blog Post Titles. I like this one but don't really have anything to say except that we had bacon and eggs for breakfast - Jason cooked!
-Jenny
-Jenny
Dorsey Home & Studio
The most permanent, unchanging thing in my life, besides the eternal God, and my parent's love for me has been the home I grew up in: 2772 SE Camano Drive, Camano Island WA.
I still remember lying in bed in the early morning, listening to the rain fall on the roof, and hearing my mom shuffling around making breakfast.
Over the years our home has undergone a lot of change. When my parents moved in (it was a gift from my Grandpa in 1970) there was no running water. I can remember using the outhouse!
Since then there has been a new addition to the home, and remodeling.
When I go home now I love to look at the new art of my parents on the walls.
So enjoy this little tour of my home.
- Jason
I still remember lying in bed in the early morning, listening to the rain fall on the roof, and hearing my mom shuffling around making breakfast.
Over the years our home has undergone a lot of change. When my parents moved in (it was a gift from my Grandpa in 1970) there was no running water. I can remember using the outhouse!
Since then there has been a new addition to the home, and remodeling.
When I go home now I love to look at the new art of my parents on the walls.
So enjoy this little tour of my home.
- Jason
RestHaven - Camano Island
Here are a couple of pictures of RestHaven - and yes, it is Restful and yes, we are Resting with enough elbow room to spread out! Oh, and yes, the sky is blue!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Drive from Redding to Salem
I wanted to capture some of the terrain we have traveled on but snapping pictures in the car is a bit of a challenge.
Part of my growing up years where in Redding, California. It is hot - a dry kind of heat like when you open your oven. Temperatures are around 118 F in the summer. Mt. Lassen runs north and south along the east side of the state. Mt. Shasta (to the north) is were I learned how to ski and have to say I am quite spoiled as my idea of skiing is without a coat! I didn't get a very good picture of Shasta Lake but I was so happy to see if full for once!
Redding is the largest, farthest city north. It is cradled in a horse shoe of mountains. As we come down the pass toward Oregon, we always stop in Ashland which is know for its Shakespearean Festivals. We take a break at Lithia park and eat lunch or splash around as we cool off in the creek.
The land is mountainous and dry. As we drive North into Oregon we begin to see rolling green hills.
Plenty of Great Grandmas!!!
Here are some more pictures of both of my grandmas. It is really amazing sometimes when I think that my kids actually have 3 Great Grandmas!!!
This is my Grandma Wanda, she is also an artist. She paints with oil, has carved wood and now is working on carving a gourd and then painting it. She grew up in the dessert and that is where she gets her love of cacti. My Grandma also loves animals and as you can see she has a bird and a dog. I took pictures of my dad's photo album. If you look close you can also see pictures of my dad with his pets. It's funny but while we were at my grandma's house, Judah and Jackie both played with the dog while Jacob made friends with her bird. I know exactly from what tree the apple fell!
Here are a couple more pictures of my Grandma Nelson. She has also always loved gardening. Well, now that she is 98 1/2, my uncle built her a garden where she doesn't have to bend over. Jackie is standing by it in one of the pictures. Now that I think of it, she is also an artist and has taken up water color in the last couple of years!
This is my Grandma Wanda, she is also an artist. She paints with oil, has carved wood and now is working on carving a gourd and then painting it. She grew up in the dessert and that is where she gets her love of cacti. My Grandma also loves animals and as you can see she has a bird and a dog. I took pictures of my dad's photo album. If you look close you can also see pictures of my dad with his pets. It's funny but while we were at my grandma's house, Judah and Jackie both played with the dog while Jacob made friends with her bird. I know exactly from what tree the apple fell!
Here are a couple more pictures of my Grandma Nelson. She has also always loved gardening. Well, now that she is 98 1/2, my uncle built her a garden where she doesn't have to bend over. Jackie is standing by it in one of the pictures. Now that I think of it, she is also an artist and has taken up water color in the last couple of years!
Great Grandma Sayre - Flowers and Photographs
This is Jason's Grandma's House. It is filled with photographs and flowers. One of my kids' favorite things to do is eat cinnamon rolls (made by Jason's mom) and find pictures of themselves all over the house.
Grandma Sayre is 103! I have been telling everyone that she is 104...my mistake but then I thought, what difference does it make? She's still over 100!
Happy Birthday Party
Once a year my parents (Ron & Grace Wallace) have a big birthday party celebration for our kids. My dad can grill steak in such a way that it melts in your mouth. The kids helped grandma shuck the corn on the back porch (which reminded us of the corn we were missing in Indy). My sister made her famous 7 layer cake and was able to transport it to my mom's house without it melting and falling apart (it was about 95 degrees F).
Living in Indy has meant that we have had to learn that it's OK to celebrate holidays and special events with family even when they are not on the exact or precise day.
Sunnyshore Studio... A Dream
I have a dream to build an art studio on some property we own on Camano Island...
It would be called "Sunnyshore Studio" and its mission would be to share the beauty of Camano Island with the world.
Part of my dream is to share my family's art legacy with the world. My great grandmother (google Fanny Y. Cory) was a nationally known illustrator (interestingly, she was featured in a Sunday edition of the Indianapolis Star in 1954 I think). Her daughter, Sayre Dodgson, who recently turned 103 was incredibly gifted at drawing the human figure (we have 100's of her sketches from art studio) but ended up studying to be a nurse and giving her life to raising her family. My father, Jack Dorsey, is a widely recognized pacific northwest artist. My Mom, Ann Cory (the name she goes by with her art) is rapidly developing as a gifted painter of people, particularly children, in Acrylics. My brother, Jed Dorsey, is a gifted Acrylic artist; and my sister April paints beautiful watercolors and pastels when she can find time away from raising her four children. I paint watercolors. So there is quite a family line, and, I'm sure, more to come.
So my dream is to create a studio on Camano that can showcase this legacy. I'd love it to have a sleeping space in the upstairs to share with artists who want a place to come to retreat and create.
When our family was in the Lake District, in Northwest England, I went on a solo tour to the Heaton Cooper Studio. This is a family art studio that was quite an inspiration to me.
Here is a photo tour of what I discovered.
It would be called "Sunnyshore Studio" and its mission would be to share the beauty of Camano Island with the world.
Part of my dream is to share my family's art legacy with the world. My great grandmother (google Fanny Y. Cory) was a nationally known illustrator (interestingly, she was featured in a Sunday edition of the Indianapolis Star in 1954 I think). Her daughter, Sayre Dodgson, who recently turned 103 was incredibly gifted at drawing the human figure (we have 100's of her sketches from art studio) but ended up studying to be a nurse and giving her life to raising her family. My father, Jack Dorsey, is a widely recognized pacific northwest artist. My Mom, Ann Cory (the name she goes by with her art) is rapidly developing as a gifted painter of people, particularly children, in Acrylics. My brother, Jed Dorsey, is a gifted Acrylic artist; and my sister April paints beautiful watercolors and pastels when she can find time away from raising her four children. I paint watercolors. So there is quite a family line, and, I'm sure, more to come.
So my dream is to create a studio on Camano that can showcase this legacy. I'd love it to have a sleeping space in the upstairs to share with artists who want a place to come to retreat and create.
When our family was in the Lake District, in Northwest England, I went on a solo tour to the Heaton Cooper Studio. This is a family art studio that was quite an inspiration to me.
Here is a photo tour of what I discovered.
6 Seatbelts - that's all that counts!
What is the most important feature of a rental car? If you asked each member of our family you would get an entirely different answer except for the fact that we all agree that is must have a minimum of at least 6 seat belts.
So, here is a picture of our car...it has 6 seat belts and a powerful engine but little else to recommend itself. We have tried to upgrade but with no success. It seems that every other large family is traveling and there are no large cars available. So for now, we are "attempting" to enjoy the physical closeness it brings!
That might explain Judah's attempt to get some peace and quiet as he sat in the middle of the back seat with his shoes over his ears!
My Dad
Somehow this picture of Jackie with her arms wrapped around my dad's neck captures all the love I have for him and how proud I am of him. When I am in Indy - I'm an adult; when I am with my dad - I'm his little girl.
-Jenny
What do you do when you don't want to listen...
This picture was not used with permision but I have the rights to the photo and thought you all would benefit by it. I hope it sticks in your mind the next time you have a hard heart. Particularly the part of what you are using to cover your ears. All I could think of was where those shoes had been...
This Post is called - "The Longest Post Ever"
Hi Everyone,
Today we had a nice laid back day. We woke up late, hung out with cousins and ate dinner at Great Grandma Sayre's house. I went to the Chiropractor and am feeling much better.
You are probably wondering why I called this post, "The Longest Post Ever"...there is no way I can compete with Jason and his long posts - but be assured, I have just as many great thoughts and comments! I think I will take "my" sabbatical when school starts and Jason returns to work! Then I too will write some long posts for I have also had much time to think and reflect! : )
Today we had a nice laid back day. We woke up late, hung out with cousins and ate dinner at Great Grandma Sayre's house. I went to the Chiropractor and am feeling much better.
You are probably wondering why I called this post, "The Longest Post Ever"...there is no way I can compete with Jason and his long posts - but be assured, I have just as many great thoughts and comments! I think I will take "my" sabbatical when school starts and Jason returns to work! Then I too will write some long posts for I have also had much time to think and reflect! : )
Monday, July 12, 2010
My Call to the Ministry (Part One)
I wanted to take some time to write (and so reflect) on my own call to the ministry. St. Augustine said that he wrote so that he might know. In the same way, writing helps me clarify and make concrete my hazy thoughts and memories.
So here goes
This morning (July 12th) I brought some hot chocolate to Camano Chapel for my brother, Jed, and sister-in-law, Renae; this week he is serving as the camp speaker at Camano Chapel's Jr. High Camp and I wanted to give them a special send-off. Dropping off hot chocolate brought back many memories.
My parents attended Camano Chapel during my growing up years. Yet, even though I grew up in the church and always believed in the existence of God, I had little interest in spiritual things. I decided to be baptized when I was 16. But I remained at the "center" of my own life. I was afraid to really surrender my life to Jesus because I was afraid of what he might require of me.
Exaltation Tour: June 1987
The summer after I graduated (1987) I half-heartedly decided to go on our youth group's singing/drama ministry - called "Exaltation" - on a tour up into Vancouver Island to perform our singing program for small churches. I was given a key role in the musical and was,ironically, the lead singer (with the youth group as my backup choir) of a song titled "Surrender." The gist of the song was that that "I'd rather go to Africa, than Stanwood High, and be a missionary there, rather than at my school." This communicated the core of my heart perfectly: while I "believed" in God, the "functional" center and influence in my life was my wanting to rule in my own life, go my own way. I did not want to surrender my life to Christ. But, He, obviously, had other plans.
Sointula, BC: 1987
A second reason why dropping off hot chocolate at Camano Chapel brought up old memories was that I saw Keith Burnhardt (sp?) there. In 1987 Keith, and his wife, Kathy, served as pastor of the Village Mission church in Sointula, BC, one of the destinations of our "Exaltation Tour." It was there in Sointula that God did a powerful work in my heart, awakening me; making me spiritual alive; though I didn't know what a powerful work it was at the time.
I don't remember a lot of details but it went something like this. Sointula, BC is a fishing village off the North Coast of Vancouver Island, near Port McNeil. Our "Exaltation" group spent a couple of days in Sointula assisting the church. We did some work projects, hung out with the kids in Sointula, and performed our musical. I remember a couple of things about the kids in Sointula. I remember thinking how lost they seemed: they didn't have much to live for; it was lonely on the island; most of the time they spent waiting for the next party. I started thinking to myself: "here I am. I claim to have the answer to these kids soul, to their hearts, but I'm not doing anything about it. They have nothing to live for, and I have everything to live for in God, and I'm not doing anything to help them." I was moved by their plight, and convicted of my spiritual apathy. Another thing I remember were two little boys, Jason and Guy, who had been adopted (I think). They were the cutest little boys and I spent a lot of time playing with them, talking to them, etc. I've always had a soft heart for young people, and I wanted to show kindness to these two adopted brothers.
Sometime during our couple of days in Sointula, I remember feeling like I was on a fence. On one side of the fence was my being the boss, my being the lord of my life, with all the comforts and pleasures and joys of the world thrown in. On the other side of the fence was Jesus. I didn't know what it would mean to follow him! I remember feeling like the "curtains" were being rolled up and I was seeing spiritual reality for the first time, and I said, "Jesus, I'm yours." For me it wasn't "Jesus I believe in you" because I already believed, or so I thought, in him; it was Jesus, my life is your life, you are in charge, you are in control, I'm going to follow you.
From that point on everything changed. I view that as my spiritual birth. For the first time I had a personal hunger for spiritual things. I wanted to pray, and actually would go out alone and pray to God; I wanted to read God's word and it was suddenly coming alive to me.
So passionate I was about following Jesus, that later that summer I persuaded two of my friends, Jake and Bob, to go back to Sointula with me. We drove my parents Volkswagon Van. Somehow we were able to get a box of Gideon New Testaments. We spent a couple days with the kids in Sointula talking with them, challenging them to follow Jesus; I think we might have even arranged a small evangelistic service in which I might have spoken.
In any case, this was my core call - and at that point it was not to the ministry, it was simply to be a follower of Jesus. This call to "follow Jesus" is the same for every Christian. Jesus calls for wholehearted allegiance to his person; As Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it, "He bids us come and die."
Baby Steps into My Calling
After my spiritual awakening I didn't have any clear vision or direction for my life. I had read "Travels with Charlie" by John Steinbeck. So, before Sointula, my idea had been to take a year and drive my parents Volkswagon Van around the US with my dog; I'm not sure what I thought they would do without their car!
STEP ONE: Western Baptist College
As it turned out, I went to Western Baptist College(see previous blog). God used my time at Western to deepend my theological and Biblical understanding. I also had opportunities to minister. The fall of my Freshman year I remember, with a friend, walking up the hill into a neighborhood near our college and offering to rake leaves for people for free. I was so full of the love of Christ it was just a joy to give and share that love.
I also was part of a ministry to Hillcrest, a juvenile delinquent center. Every Sunday afternoon a group of us from the college would go and spend time with the guys.
STEP TWO: Otto Sather
The biggest "step" into my pastoral calling during my college years was provided by Otto Sather. Otto had grown up in Stanwood, WA (near Camano Island); he and his brother ran their Father's chicken farm. At age 33 Otto was converted to Christ, and two years later he went into full-time ministry. For over 25 years he pastored a small community church in Plain, WA. It was under Otto's ministry in Plain that my dad was converted to Christ as a young man. My mother would be spent to spend a few weeks each summer at the Sathers (her parents were friends of the Sathers). Eventually mom and dad got married; by the time I came along, Otto and Betty had moved back to the Stanwood area. Otto was pastoring another small church on Sammish Island.
After my spiritual awakening/birth Otto and Betty had me over, and, as they do, they grilled me, trying to understand everything that had happened. Otto invited me to help him the following summer at the church on Sammish Island. My role would be to start a youth group. So that summer (1988), I worked some odd jobs doing yardwork; and I spent a lot of time helping Otto on Samish. Each Wednesday I'd drive to their house. Betty would cook us a big lunch. Then Otto and I would pile into their car and we would drive together on his pastoral rounds. Otto spent every Wednesday going to his parishioners homes. He would talk with them, then read the Bible with them and pray. As far as I know, he has been doing this for each of the 50 years of his ministry. Sometimes around dinner time, after visiting 10-15 homes, I remember getting real, real hungry. Otto would usually have some almonds for us to eat; on a good day, we'd have a bag of Cool Ranch Dorritoes. So I cut my teeth doing pastoral ministry with Otto. I led the youth group at Samish for three summers (1988,89, 90).
Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Part One: 1991-1992
After I graduated from Western I didn't have any clearly defined plans. I knew that I was going to marry Jenny in June of 1992 (we had a one year engagement); and I knew that I was interested in Christian ministry. But, beyond that I was unclear. However, I had an opportunity to stay in Wheaton, IL, with old family friends Peter and Anita Deyneka. Having nothing else to do that year I thought I might look into seminaries. A professor at Western, H. Wayne House, suggested I look into Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS). I was accepted. So in the summer of 1991 I drove back to Chicago to live at the Deynekas and to begin seminary.
The first year of seminary was hard. I missed Jenny terribly. So I focused hard on my studies. Because I had received a double major at Western (Humanities and Bible) about 24 units of biblical/theological electives were transferred to me so I had a bit of a head start.
In January 1992 I had an opportunity to go with Peter and Anita, and their two children, Lilianna and Mark, to live in Moscow, Russia. During those months I did an independent study course from Trinity (so I could stay enrolled as a student). My time in Moscow was so rich for me; but I was counting down the days to see Jenny.
In the spring of 1992 I decided not to stay at Trinity. When I returned to Chicago I moved onto campus at TEDS. But I was miserable; lonely, missing Jenny. I decided to pack my bags and head back west. I took another extension course - this one on the theology of Jonathan Edwards - to stay current as a student; and I worked it out at TEDS to do the required internship the following year.
Internship at Camano Chapel, 1992-93
Jenny and I were married June 20th, 1992. After our honeymoon - up northern California Coast, Bed and Breakfast in Rogue River, we returned to Camano Island where I spent a year serving as an intern. It was an interesting year because right after I began the internship, the Senior Pastor at Camano Chapel, Bill W., took a six month sabbatical; he was burnt-out from 26 years of pastoral ministry. Under his leadership Camano Chapel had grown from a small congregation to the largest Village Mission (non-denomination) church in the US. With Bill being gone, I didn't really have anyone to guide my internship. I remember watching John Gerstners videos on church history, and preaching on Sunday night.
TEDS (Part Two) and first contact with the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA): 1993-95
In May, 1993 Jenny and I packed all of our belongings into our Chrysler LeBaron and drove across the country to Chicago. We had about $500 and no furniture. We were going to house sit at the Deynekas for a few weeks before we could move into our apartment on campus at TEDS. Through Chip G., who we had met at College Church in Wheaton, Jenny got a job at CB Commercial near TEDS. And I began a blistering work-load at TEDS. In the next two years I would receive a Master of Divinity, and a Master of Arts in Systematic Theology (I wrote my thesis paper on the "Nature of Tradition in the Theology of Georges Florovsky).
TEDS was full of great professors. I was influenced by DA Carson, Harold OJ Brown, John Woodbridge, Ray Ortlund among others. For the first year Jenny and I drove to Wheaton and attended College Church. We appreciated the ministry of Pastor Kent Hughes and we were part of a class that was seeking to reach out to unbelivers called "Ultimate Issues" led by Rev. Dave Helm. I really liked Dave and appreciated his ministry. Later I found out that Dave was an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America. This was my first "contact" with the PCA. Because I liked Dave and his style of ministry, and because at that time I realized I needed to figure out where I "fit" - in terms of my theology - in a denomination, I began to investigate the PCA. (Dave is now the pastor of Holy Trinity Church near the University of Chicago.) Towards the end of my time at TEDS, after Jacob's birth, I worked part-time as a youth pastor at Lakeview Presbyterian Church.
I graduated from TEDS with my MDiv in December 1994, and my MA in May 1995. Jacob was six months old. I had two part time jobs (one at Lakeview, and one as an assistant to a Commercial Real Estate Broker). We missed our families and didn't really have any reason to stay in Illinois. So we, once again, packed our belongings in the LeBaron and drove back across the country.
Gospel Breakthrough: Salem and Eugene, OR (1995-1997)
As we were about to leave TEDS, one of my professors, Harold OJ Brown mentioned that one of his past-students had just left a church he had been pastoring in Seattle - Green Lake Presbyterian Church (the church I would evenutally serve in for five years). I had the bright idea of writing to the elders at Green Lake and offering my services as a pastor; my idea was that I would get a doctorate in classics at the Univirsity of Washington, and perhaps work at Green Lake as well.
Of course, I was terrible naive. At that time I was not licensed, let alone, ordained in the PCA. My friend, Chip G., counseled me not to send the letter; I'm thankful now that I listened to his counsel. But I think it is interesting that God put Green Lake on my heart over two years before I was called there as an assistant pastor.
We landed in Salem, OR (How we landed there is another story for another time!). Jenny got a job as a resident director at Western Baptist College. I was still a bit aimless. In my "fantasy world" I thought I might get a job as a professor at Western. Looking back now I realize that my theological views wouldn't have been a good fit. I had just read a biography of Karl Barth and I fantasized about doing full time theological work. Again, I was terrible naize.
However, we did make one decision that had a profound spiritual impact in my life: to attend Cascade Presbyterian Church in Eugene, OR. At that time, the pastor at Cascade was Rev. Jack Davidson. Jack had been influenced by the "Sonship" gospel ministry of Jack and Rose Marie Miller. Though I didn't get it at the time, Jacks preaching was brimming with the gospel. It was over an hour drive to Eugene on Sunday. So we usually only went down to Cascade on Sundays. Eventually I went under "care" through Cascade's session in the Pacific Northwest Presbytery. The big spiritual impact for me was through Jack's gospel preaching.
To be honest, seminary was a spiritually dry time for me. The understandings of the gospel of grace that I had come to at Western Baptist College during my college years did not seem to have the power to continue to change my life. During seminary I struggled deeply with old patterns of sin, especially in the area of sexual brokenness. In seminary I never did get connected to gospel community where the confession of sin, repentance, forgiveness, etc. was lived out as a daily reality. So when we moved back to Salem, I see now, I was spiritually barren.
At Cascade I heard a different kind of preaching. I remember that Jack was preaching through the gospel of Mark. Each Sunday he seemed to say the same thing: that none of us could keep God's law; but Jesus had kept it perfectly "for us." That not only had Jesus died on the cross for us, but Jesus had lived the perfect life of love and obedience to God's law. Jack preached again and again that through faith in Jesus, His perfect obedience - his love for people, his prayer life, his purity, his courage, etc. - was given as a gift to us so that we stood before God in heaven Holy and Blameless, covered in the beauty of Christ.
For a long time I was frustrated with Jack. "Preach something new" I thought. But Martin Luther was right! The preacher needs to "pound the gospel into the heads" of his people. After a year of Jack's pounding the gospel into my head I began to get - really for the first time - the doctrine of justification by faith, the doctrine of the active righteousness of Christ. I began to see that being a Christian means to "rejoice in Jesus." This was a huge breakthrough, and has shaped my ministry profoundly.
Called to Gospel Ministry: 1997
After going through a two year profess of being "under care", internship, and licensure (being licensed to preach) through the Pacific Northwest Presbytery, I was called by Green Lake Presbyterian Church to serve as an Assistant Pastor to Rev. Michael Kelly.
Presbyterians speak of God's call to the ministry being twofold: First, someone must have an internal call. They must know in their hearts that they must preach the gospel or perish; they must have a heart that burns for God's glory and for people's good. This is the "internal call". But, not only must a man have this internal, subjective call, they must also have an "external call" to be ordained as a minister of the gospel. In other words, a church, a concrete body of people must agree with the "internal call" and actually want the man to be their minister.
It was thrilling to actually step into, in summer of 1997, full-time vocational ministry.
God used Green Lake and Michael Kelly to have a powerful shaping influence in our lives. This blog is already too long. I will tell that story in another blog...
So here goes
This morning (July 12th) I brought some hot chocolate to Camano Chapel for my brother, Jed, and sister-in-law, Renae; this week he is serving as the camp speaker at Camano Chapel's Jr. High Camp and I wanted to give them a special send-off. Dropping off hot chocolate brought back many memories.
My parents attended Camano Chapel during my growing up years. Yet, even though I grew up in the church and always believed in the existence of God, I had little interest in spiritual things. I decided to be baptized when I was 16. But I remained at the "center" of my own life. I was afraid to really surrender my life to Jesus because I was afraid of what he might require of me.
Exaltation Tour: June 1987
The summer after I graduated (1987) I half-heartedly decided to go on our youth group's singing/drama ministry - called "Exaltation" - on a tour up into Vancouver Island to perform our singing program for small churches. I was given a key role in the musical and was,ironically, the lead singer (with the youth group as my backup choir) of a song titled "Surrender." The gist of the song was that that "I'd rather go to Africa, than Stanwood High, and be a missionary there, rather than at my school." This communicated the core of my heart perfectly: while I "believed" in God, the "functional" center and influence in my life was my wanting to rule in my own life, go my own way. I did not want to surrender my life to Christ. But, He, obviously, had other plans.
Sointula, BC: 1987
A second reason why dropping off hot chocolate at Camano Chapel brought up old memories was that I saw Keith Burnhardt (sp?) there. In 1987 Keith, and his wife, Kathy, served as pastor of the Village Mission church in Sointula, BC, one of the destinations of our "Exaltation Tour." It was there in Sointula that God did a powerful work in my heart, awakening me; making me spiritual alive; though I didn't know what a powerful work it was at the time.
I don't remember a lot of details but it went something like this. Sointula, BC is a fishing village off the North Coast of Vancouver Island, near Port McNeil. Our "Exaltation" group spent a couple of days in Sointula assisting the church. We did some work projects, hung out with the kids in Sointula, and performed our musical. I remember a couple of things about the kids in Sointula. I remember thinking how lost they seemed: they didn't have much to live for; it was lonely on the island; most of the time they spent waiting for the next party. I started thinking to myself: "here I am. I claim to have the answer to these kids soul, to their hearts, but I'm not doing anything about it. They have nothing to live for, and I have everything to live for in God, and I'm not doing anything to help them." I was moved by their plight, and convicted of my spiritual apathy. Another thing I remember were two little boys, Jason and Guy, who had been adopted (I think). They were the cutest little boys and I spent a lot of time playing with them, talking to them, etc. I've always had a soft heart for young people, and I wanted to show kindness to these two adopted brothers.
Sometime during our couple of days in Sointula, I remember feeling like I was on a fence. On one side of the fence was my being the boss, my being the lord of my life, with all the comforts and pleasures and joys of the world thrown in. On the other side of the fence was Jesus. I didn't know what it would mean to follow him! I remember feeling like the "curtains" were being rolled up and I was seeing spiritual reality for the first time, and I said, "Jesus, I'm yours." For me it wasn't "Jesus I believe in you" because I already believed, or so I thought, in him; it was Jesus, my life is your life, you are in charge, you are in control, I'm going to follow you.
From that point on everything changed. I view that as my spiritual birth. For the first time I had a personal hunger for spiritual things. I wanted to pray, and actually would go out alone and pray to God; I wanted to read God's word and it was suddenly coming alive to me.
So passionate I was about following Jesus, that later that summer I persuaded two of my friends, Jake and Bob, to go back to Sointula with me. We drove my parents Volkswagon Van. Somehow we were able to get a box of Gideon New Testaments. We spent a couple days with the kids in Sointula talking with them, challenging them to follow Jesus; I think we might have even arranged a small evangelistic service in which I might have spoken.
In any case, this was my core call - and at that point it was not to the ministry, it was simply to be a follower of Jesus. This call to "follow Jesus" is the same for every Christian. Jesus calls for wholehearted allegiance to his person; As Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it, "He bids us come and die."
Baby Steps into My Calling
After my spiritual awakening I didn't have any clear vision or direction for my life. I had read "Travels with Charlie" by John Steinbeck. So, before Sointula, my idea had been to take a year and drive my parents Volkswagon Van around the US with my dog; I'm not sure what I thought they would do without their car!
STEP ONE: Western Baptist College
As it turned out, I went to Western Baptist College(see previous blog). God used my time at Western to deepend my theological and Biblical understanding. I also had opportunities to minister. The fall of my Freshman year I remember, with a friend, walking up the hill into a neighborhood near our college and offering to rake leaves for people for free. I was so full of the love of Christ it was just a joy to give and share that love.
I also was part of a ministry to Hillcrest, a juvenile delinquent center. Every Sunday afternoon a group of us from the college would go and spend time with the guys.
STEP TWO: Otto Sather
The biggest "step" into my pastoral calling during my college years was provided by Otto Sather. Otto had grown up in Stanwood, WA (near Camano Island); he and his brother ran their Father's chicken farm. At age 33 Otto was converted to Christ, and two years later he went into full-time ministry. For over 25 years he pastored a small community church in Plain, WA. It was under Otto's ministry in Plain that my dad was converted to Christ as a young man. My mother would be spent to spend a few weeks each summer at the Sathers (her parents were friends of the Sathers). Eventually mom and dad got married; by the time I came along, Otto and Betty had moved back to the Stanwood area. Otto was pastoring another small church on Sammish Island.
After my spiritual awakening/birth Otto and Betty had me over, and, as they do, they grilled me, trying to understand everything that had happened. Otto invited me to help him the following summer at the church on Sammish Island. My role would be to start a youth group. So that summer (1988), I worked some odd jobs doing yardwork; and I spent a lot of time helping Otto on Samish. Each Wednesday I'd drive to their house. Betty would cook us a big lunch. Then Otto and I would pile into their car and we would drive together on his pastoral rounds. Otto spent every Wednesday going to his parishioners homes. He would talk with them, then read the Bible with them and pray. As far as I know, he has been doing this for each of the 50 years of his ministry. Sometimes around dinner time, after visiting 10-15 homes, I remember getting real, real hungry. Otto would usually have some almonds for us to eat; on a good day, we'd have a bag of Cool Ranch Dorritoes. So I cut my teeth doing pastoral ministry with Otto. I led the youth group at Samish for three summers (1988,89, 90).
Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Part One: 1991-1992
After I graduated from Western I didn't have any clearly defined plans. I knew that I was going to marry Jenny in June of 1992 (we had a one year engagement); and I knew that I was interested in Christian ministry. But, beyond that I was unclear. However, I had an opportunity to stay in Wheaton, IL, with old family friends Peter and Anita Deyneka. Having nothing else to do that year I thought I might look into seminaries. A professor at Western, H. Wayne House, suggested I look into Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS). I was accepted. So in the summer of 1991 I drove back to Chicago to live at the Deynekas and to begin seminary.
The first year of seminary was hard. I missed Jenny terribly. So I focused hard on my studies. Because I had received a double major at Western (Humanities and Bible) about 24 units of biblical/theological electives were transferred to me so I had a bit of a head start.
In January 1992 I had an opportunity to go with Peter and Anita, and their two children, Lilianna and Mark, to live in Moscow, Russia. During those months I did an independent study course from Trinity (so I could stay enrolled as a student). My time in Moscow was so rich for me; but I was counting down the days to see Jenny.
In the spring of 1992 I decided not to stay at Trinity. When I returned to Chicago I moved onto campus at TEDS. But I was miserable; lonely, missing Jenny. I decided to pack my bags and head back west. I took another extension course - this one on the theology of Jonathan Edwards - to stay current as a student; and I worked it out at TEDS to do the required internship the following year.
Internship at Camano Chapel, 1992-93
Jenny and I were married June 20th, 1992. After our honeymoon - up northern California Coast, Bed and Breakfast in Rogue River, we returned to Camano Island where I spent a year serving as an intern. It was an interesting year because right after I began the internship, the Senior Pastor at Camano Chapel, Bill W., took a six month sabbatical; he was burnt-out from 26 years of pastoral ministry. Under his leadership Camano Chapel had grown from a small congregation to the largest Village Mission (non-denomination) church in the US. With Bill being gone, I didn't really have anyone to guide my internship. I remember watching John Gerstners videos on church history, and preaching on Sunday night.
TEDS (Part Two) and first contact with the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA): 1993-95
In May, 1993 Jenny and I packed all of our belongings into our Chrysler LeBaron and drove across the country to Chicago. We had about $500 and no furniture. We were going to house sit at the Deynekas for a few weeks before we could move into our apartment on campus at TEDS. Through Chip G., who we had met at College Church in Wheaton, Jenny got a job at CB Commercial near TEDS. And I began a blistering work-load at TEDS. In the next two years I would receive a Master of Divinity, and a Master of Arts in Systematic Theology (I wrote my thesis paper on the "Nature of Tradition in the Theology of Georges Florovsky).
TEDS was full of great professors. I was influenced by DA Carson, Harold OJ Brown, John Woodbridge, Ray Ortlund among others. For the first year Jenny and I drove to Wheaton and attended College Church. We appreciated the ministry of Pastor Kent Hughes and we were part of a class that was seeking to reach out to unbelivers called "Ultimate Issues" led by Rev. Dave Helm. I really liked Dave and appreciated his ministry. Later I found out that Dave was an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America. This was my first "contact" with the PCA. Because I liked Dave and his style of ministry, and because at that time I realized I needed to figure out where I "fit" - in terms of my theology - in a denomination, I began to investigate the PCA. (Dave is now the pastor of Holy Trinity Church near the University of Chicago.) Towards the end of my time at TEDS, after Jacob's birth, I worked part-time as a youth pastor at Lakeview Presbyterian Church.
I graduated from TEDS with my MDiv in December 1994, and my MA in May 1995. Jacob was six months old. I had two part time jobs (one at Lakeview, and one as an assistant to a Commercial Real Estate Broker). We missed our families and didn't really have any reason to stay in Illinois. So we, once again, packed our belongings in the LeBaron and drove back across the country.
Gospel Breakthrough: Salem and Eugene, OR (1995-1997)
As we were about to leave TEDS, one of my professors, Harold OJ Brown mentioned that one of his past-students had just left a church he had been pastoring in Seattle - Green Lake Presbyterian Church (the church I would evenutally serve in for five years). I had the bright idea of writing to the elders at Green Lake and offering my services as a pastor; my idea was that I would get a doctorate in classics at the Univirsity of Washington, and perhaps work at Green Lake as well.
Of course, I was terrible naive. At that time I was not licensed, let alone, ordained in the PCA. My friend, Chip G., counseled me not to send the letter; I'm thankful now that I listened to his counsel. But I think it is interesting that God put Green Lake on my heart over two years before I was called there as an assistant pastor.
We landed in Salem, OR (How we landed there is another story for another time!). Jenny got a job as a resident director at Western Baptist College. I was still a bit aimless. In my "fantasy world" I thought I might get a job as a professor at Western. Looking back now I realize that my theological views wouldn't have been a good fit. I had just read a biography of Karl Barth and I fantasized about doing full time theological work. Again, I was terrible naize.
However, we did make one decision that had a profound spiritual impact in my life: to attend Cascade Presbyterian Church in Eugene, OR. At that time, the pastor at Cascade was Rev. Jack Davidson. Jack had been influenced by the "Sonship" gospel ministry of Jack and Rose Marie Miller. Though I didn't get it at the time, Jacks preaching was brimming with the gospel. It was over an hour drive to Eugene on Sunday. So we usually only went down to Cascade on Sundays. Eventually I went under "care" through Cascade's session in the Pacific Northwest Presbytery. The big spiritual impact for me was through Jack's gospel preaching.
To be honest, seminary was a spiritually dry time for me. The understandings of the gospel of grace that I had come to at Western Baptist College during my college years did not seem to have the power to continue to change my life. During seminary I struggled deeply with old patterns of sin, especially in the area of sexual brokenness. In seminary I never did get connected to gospel community where the confession of sin, repentance, forgiveness, etc. was lived out as a daily reality. So when we moved back to Salem, I see now, I was spiritually barren.
At Cascade I heard a different kind of preaching. I remember that Jack was preaching through the gospel of Mark. Each Sunday he seemed to say the same thing: that none of us could keep God's law; but Jesus had kept it perfectly "for us." That not only had Jesus died on the cross for us, but Jesus had lived the perfect life of love and obedience to God's law. Jack preached again and again that through faith in Jesus, His perfect obedience - his love for people, his prayer life, his purity, his courage, etc. - was given as a gift to us so that we stood before God in heaven Holy and Blameless, covered in the beauty of Christ.
For a long time I was frustrated with Jack. "Preach something new" I thought. But Martin Luther was right! The preacher needs to "pound the gospel into the heads" of his people. After a year of Jack's pounding the gospel into my head I began to get - really for the first time - the doctrine of justification by faith, the doctrine of the active righteousness of Christ. I began to see that being a Christian means to "rejoice in Jesus." This was a huge breakthrough, and has shaped my ministry profoundly.
Called to Gospel Ministry: 1997
After going through a two year profess of being "under care", internship, and licensure (being licensed to preach) through the Pacific Northwest Presbytery, I was called by Green Lake Presbyterian Church to serve as an Assistant Pastor to Rev. Michael Kelly.
Presbyterians speak of God's call to the ministry being twofold: First, someone must have an internal call. They must know in their hearts that they must preach the gospel or perish; they must have a heart that burns for God's glory and for people's good. This is the "internal call". But, not only must a man have this internal, subjective call, they must also have an "external call" to be ordained as a minister of the gospel. In other words, a church, a concrete body of people must agree with the "internal call" and actually want the man to be their minister.
It was thrilling to actually step into, in summer of 1997, full-time vocational ministry.
God used Green Lake and Michael Kelly to have a powerful shaping influence in our lives. This blog is already too long. I will tell that story in another blog...
Camano Island & RestHaven
We have arrived safe and sound on the next leg of our journey - Camano Island and time with Jason's family.
I'll post pictures as I can but need to purchase more rechargeable batteries since I seem to be wearing them out with all my picture taking!
I am thinking of the Jackson's as I believe they drove by on I-5 yesterday. We were only separated by 30 min! I am also thinking of the Baumgartens and their trip to Alaska. Again, we are so close since they flew into Seattle!
We unpacked and are staying at a retreat house called RestHaven. As I walk throught the house I spontaneously keep saying, "Thank you Jesus" for all the elbow room we have. Three bedrooms, queen bed, two rooms with two twins, family room, living room, and extra loft space. We each have a room to retreat to!
This afternoon I am taking the kids to play at their cousins farm. Jacob is helping his grandpa reroof the house Jason grew up in. I am going to the chiropracter this afternoon to get my monthly tune up. Jason is reading the paper, the kids are playing in the family room and I am now going to prepare lunch. There is something nice to doing normal everyday routine things.
I'll post pictures as I can but need to purchase more rechargeable batteries since I seem to be wearing them out with all my picture taking!
I am thinking of the Jackson's as I believe they drove by on I-5 yesterday. We were only separated by 30 min! I am also thinking of the Baumgartens and their trip to Alaska. Again, we are so close since they flew into Seattle!
We unpacked and are staying at a retreat house called RestHaven. As I walk throught the house I spontaneously keep saying, "Thank you Jesus" for all the elbow room we have. Three bedrooms, queen bed, two rooms with two twins, family room, living room, and extra loft space. We each have a room to retreat to!
This afternoon I am taking the kids to play at their cousins farm. Jacob is helping his grandpa reroof the house Jason grew up in. I am going to the chiropracter this afternoon to get my monthly tune up. Jason is reading the paper, the kids are playing in the family room and I am now going to prepare lunch. There is something nice to doing normal everyday routine things.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A Prayer for the Redeemer Fambly
Heavenly Father, Abba, Daddy,
And Holy, Awesome, Fiercesome Almighty God,
You have woven our spiritual fambly together in Jesus Christ, and called us together in this City of Indianapolis,
As a spiritual family we share in this one core value and allegiance - to your Son our Lord Jesus Christ.
He is the beauty above all beauties;
He is the strength above all strengths to us.
He is our inheritance forever.
But Father, though you, the Holy God, are our father,
and we are your children, we are still so broken and dysfunctional.
So much of our lives is motivated or paralyzed by fear,
So much of our actions are clouded with guilt and shame,
So often we live completely self-absorbed, self-centered lives,
Even our deeds "for others" is secretly for our own name's sake.
Our lives are full lust, greed, and unforgiveness.
We are a broken people, a dysfunctional spiritual family.
Yet you love us. You have poured out the blood of your own Son to wash us and make us pure.
You sing over us, you treasure us, and you draw out - in spurts to be sure - real holiness and godliness. You will never forsake us. Our names are written on your hands. Our names are written on your heart. You are a fierce Defender God. You fight a war with the sin within us, and protect us from the Devil who wants to destroy our lives. You ponder our ways, and think about us at all times; you know every hair of our head.
Who are we to deserve this?
Now, Father, remind us of these great truths.
Grant us your fierce love for each other. Give us wisdom and discernment in our love for each other so that we will move beyond flattery to truth telling and real, sacrificial love. Give us an allegiance to You first, then to each other as brothers and sisters so that we will learn to forgive each other, that we will learn how to carry each others burdens.
Father, our highest honor in life is to be your Children. Our high nobility is to bear the name of Jesus Christ: Christian.
By your grace, let us be a model spiritual fambly - broken and beautiful, modeling a whole new way of being human.
All this I pray in Jesus' name. Amen
And Holy, Awesome, Fiercesome Almighty God,
You have woven our spiritual fambly together in Jesus Christ, and called us together in this City of Indianapolis,
As a spiritual family we share in this one core value and allegiance - to your Son our Lord Jesus Christ.
He is the beauty above all beauties;
He is the strength above all strengths to us.
He is our inheritance forever.
But Father, though you, the Holy God, are our father,
and we are your children, we are still so broken and dysfunctional.
So much of our lives is motivated or paralyzed by fear,
So much of our actions are clouded with guilt and shame,
So often we live completely self-absorbed, self-centered lives,
Even our deeds "for others" is secretly for our own name's sake.
Our lives are full lust, greed, and unforgiveness.
We are a broken people, a dysfunctional spiritual family.
Yet you love us. You have poured out the blood of your own Son to wash us and make us pure.
You sing over us, you treasure us, and you draw out - in spurts to be sure - real holiness and godliness. You will never forsake us. Our names are written on your hands. Our names are written on your heart. You are a fierce Defender God. You fight a war with the sin within us, and protect us from the Devil who wants to destroy our lives. You ponder our ways, and think about us at all times; you know every hair of our head.
Who are we to deserve this?
Now, Father, remind us of these great truths.
Grant us your fierce love for each other. Give us wisdom and discernment in our love for each other so that we will move beyond flattery to truth telling and real, sacrificial love. Give us an allegiance to You first, then to each other as brothers and sisters so that we will learn to forgive each other, that we will learn how to carry each others burdens.
Father, our highest honor in life is to be your Children. Our high nobility is to bear the name of Jesus Christ: Christian.
By your grace, let us be a model spiritual fambly - broken and beautiful, modeling a whole new way of being human.
All this I pray in Jesus' name. Amen
Fambly
I love the way Anne Lammott coined the word "Fambly" to write about her interactions with her family.
It captures, perfectly, the sense of brokenness and dsyfunction (some mild, some severe) that is part of the fabric of every human family; and it captures, perfectly, the love and allegiance and loyalty and longing that binds our heart to our not-perfect-families, Our Fambly.
Today, we are saying goodbye to Jenny's fambly and saying hello to mine.
Our time with Jenny's fambly has been rich. We've spent time together with everyone on the coast; we've explored Jenny's dad, Ron's, roots in Weaverville, CA; we've seen Jenny's two grandmothers and had a special time with her grandmother Wanda hearing more about the early days of Ron's life; this past week we've had time to slow down in Redding, eat meals together, swim at the pool, etc.
One of the special aspects of our time together - from my perspective - is that we haven't just talked about surface things. We've been able to dig a little deeper: into each other's personalities and family history; we've discussed wounds; we've had times to repent and forgive; we've had times of sharing our hearts; we're learning how to name our sins and blind spots. So it's been a good and rich time with Jenny's fambly.
Now we're going to see my fambly, who I love with a deep loyalty (that's why I think I related to the Godfather (1) movie; I understand that strong passion of family love and loyalty). I'm really looking forward to seeing them AND I know that I'll have to work on all of my heart issues in my relationship to them; with Jenny's family I have a little more of an outside, objective perspective; with my own fambly, the loves, wounds, struggles are much more gutteral and primal. But I know that, just as with Jenny's family, God's grace is going to suprise me again and again with HIS workmanship.
And, in the midst of all this connecting to both of our extended families, we are driving in the car with our own Fambly. There I can, sadly, observe my own sin and brokenness creating wounds and pain in my children's life; there I can see the bonds of loyalty, love and allegiance woven together with sadness, wounds, our dysfunction. Surely every fambly needs a Savior and this morning I'm rejoicing that we have one: Jesus Christ the Great Physician and the Prince of Peace.
- Jason
It captures, perfectly, the sense of brokenness and dsyfunction (some mild, some severe) that is part of the fabric of every human family; and it captures, perfectly, the love and allegiance and loyalty and longing that binds our heart to our not-perfect-families, Our Fambly.
Today, we are saying goodbye to Jenny's fambly and saying hello to mine.
Our time with Jenny's fambly has been rich. We've spent time together with everyone on the coast; we've explored Jenny's dad, Ron's, roots in Weaverville, CA; we've seen Jenny's two grandmothers and had a special time with her grandmother Wanda hearing more about the early days of Ron's life; this past week we've had time to slow down in Redding, eat meals together, swim at the pool, etc.
One of the special aspects of our time together - from my perspective - is that we haven't just talked about surface things. We've been able to dig a little deeper: into each other's personalities and family history; we've discussed wounds; we've had times to repent and forgive; we've had times of sharing our hearts; we're learning how to name our sins and blind spots. So it's been a good and rich time with Jenny's fambly.
Now we're going to see my fambly, who I love with a deep loyalty (that's why I think I related to the Godfather (1) movie; I understand that strong passion of family love and loyalty). I'm really looking forward to seeing them AND I know that I'll have to work on all of my heart issues in my relationship to them; with Jenny's family I have a little more of an outside, objective perspective; with my own fambly, the loves, wounds, struggles are much more gutteral and primal. But I know that, just as with Jenny's family, God's grace is going to suprise me again and again with HIS workmanship.
And, in the midst of all this connecting to both of our extended families, we are driving in the car with our own Fambly. There I can, sadly, observe my own sin and brokenness creating wounds and pain in my children's life; there I can see the bonds of loyalty, love and allegiance woven together with sadness, wounds, our dysfunction. Surely every fambly needs a Savior and this morning I'm rejoicing that we have one: Jesus Christ the Great Physician and the Prince of Peace.
- Jason
Friday, July 9, 2010
I'm going to the pool...
For those of you who need a little lighter reading...I'm going to the pool this afternoon with my family!
I've also gone back to a couple of posts and added pictures - just for those of you who are curious. : )
-Jenny
I've also gone back to a couple of posts and added pictures - just for those of you who are curious. : )
-Jenny
Spiritual Hero 2: Dr. Martyn-Lloyd Jones
I don't remember precisely when and how I discovered Dr. Martyn-Lloyd Jones. I purchased his sermon series on Ephesians during my years at Western Baptist College. Lloyd-Jones was cemented as a hero of mine when I read the authorised biography of his life written by Ian Murray (Volume One: D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones: The First Forty Years, 1899-1939; Volumn Two: The Fight of Faith, 1939-1981).
There is so much of his life and ministry I could reflect on in this blog, but I want to focus on one aspect that is particularly relevant to me in my urban calling: Calling to Ministry.
Martin Luther, the Protestant Reformer, said (and I'm paraphrasing): "the preacher must find joy in the One who called him."
During this sabbatical I've been thinking a lot about my calling. I hope to write a future blog that reflects on some of that thinking. But for now I want to simply share some of the significant elements of Lloyd-Jones' call to the ministry.
Martyn-Lloyd Jones was born in Cardiff, South Wales on December 20th, 1899. Martyn was the second of three academically bright boys. Among Martyn's favorite pastimes was playing football (soccer) with the local boys or watching the farmers with their dogs bringing in sheep. His carefree early life came to a sudden and dramatic end on January 19th, 1910 when a fire burnt down his Father's store and home (Martyn was rescued by his father who threw him from an upstairs window into the arms of three men standing below. Thankfully, none of the family were killed, but life was never the same for Martyn's family. From this time on they struggled financially. In 1914 his father moved their family to the Westminster neighborhood of London.
Martyn thrived in school. Eventually he applied to the medical school at St. Bartholomew's Hospital (commonly referred to as "Bart's"), London; he was accepted at the unusually young age of 16. One of the most distinguished teachers at Bart's Hospital was the King's physician, Sir Thomas Horder. Martyn's "outstanding ability" at diagnosing patients' illnesses caught his attention as early as 1920. He chose Martyn to be his junior house physician before the actual results of his qualifying examinations were announced! When Martyn was twenty-three he earned the highly respected London University MD (Doctor of Medicine) research degree, again at an unusually young age. He held the Baillie Research Scholarship for eighteen months, investigating a type of Hodgkin's disease. His reputation in the medical world at the remarkably young age of twenty-five was considerable. "If he had continued in this sphere of work there is no doubt that Lloyd-Jones would have become a significant name in medical history." (I'm indebted in this sketch to Travel With: Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Philip H. Eveson.
But a powerful spiritual awakening shook Lloyd-Jones to the foundations. "In 1923 Dr. John Hutton, a Scotsman, was appointed minister at Westminster Chapel. Martyn was so gripped by his preaching that he began attending the morning services whenever he could. Powerful preaching combined with Martyn's growing realization through his medical practice that the problem with human beings was neither medical nor intellectual, but moral and spiritual. At the age of twenty five Lloyd-Jones had gone from being a formal, nominal (in name only) Christian to one who had experienced the power and life-changing impact of God's Spirit.
Lloyd-Jones' Call to the Ministry
"A preacher is not a Christian who decides to preach, he does not just decide to do it. It is God who commands preaching, it is God who sends out preachers."
(Murray, 80)
There were a number of experiences that God used to call Lloyd-Jones to the ministry.
The first of these experiences was Lloyd-Jones' strong, personal sense of God's love. "One such experience occured at Easter 1925 in the small study which he shared with Vincent (his younger brother) at their Regency Street home. Alone in that room on that occassion he came to see the love of God expressed in the death of Christ in a way which overwhelmed him. Everything which was happening to him in his new spiritual life was occuring because of what had first happened in Christ. It was solely to that death that he owed his new relationship to God." (Murray, 85)
Speaking of what that love meant to him in the critical years of 1925-26 he testified at the end of his life: "I must say that in that little study at our home in Regency Street, and in my research room next to the post-mortem room at Bart's, I had some remarkable experiences. It was entirely God's doing. I have known what it is to be really filled with a joy unspeakable and full of glory." (Murray, 101)
Another experience he continued to have as a young doctor was to see that man's problem is not simply fixed by modern medicine. Speakin of this, Lloyd-Jones says:
"It is not often that I make any kind of personal reference from this pulpit but I feel this morning that I must speak of an experience which bears on this very subject. When I came here, people said to me: 'Why give up good work - a good profession - after all the medical profession, why give that up? If you had been a bookie for instance and wanted to give that up to preach the gospel, we should understand and agree with you and say that you were doing a grand thing. But medicine - a good profession, healing the sick and relieving pain!'...I felt like saying to them, 'If you knew more about the work of a doctor you would understand. We but spend most of our time rendering people fit to go back to their sin.' I saw men on their sick beds, I spoke to them of their immortal souls, they promised grand things. Then they got better and back they went to their old sin! I saw I was helping these men to sin and I decided I would do no more of it. I want to heal souls. If a man has a diseased body and his soul is all right, he is right to the end; but a man with a healthy body and a diseased soul is all right for sixty years or so and then he has to face an eternity of hell! Ah, yes! we have sometimes to give up those things which are good for that which is the best of all - the joy of salvation and newness of life." (Murray, 80)
Of course, Lloyd-Jones would never say that a doctor has a lesser calling than a pastor; but, in his case, he had come to see that HE was called to focus on the healing of men's souls by the preaching of the gospel.
When Lloyd-Jones was twenty-five he made a decision to enter Christian ministry. However, he wrestled for over a year with this decision. He feared that his initial decision to turn to the ministry had lacked the clear guidance of God. Murray writes, "Not without much difficulty, he came to the conclusion that he must remain in his present career. In his own words, 'I went through a great crisis and decided I would not do it. I made a solemn decision to go on with medicine.'" (Murray, 92).
Many people encouraged Lloyd-Jones to do both: to be a Doctor and preach on the side as opportunities arose. But, Murray points out, this advice never appealed to him. "His view of the ministry was such that he could not conceive of that calling having a second-place in the life of any many. His whole backgrand was against lay-preaching. Calvinistic Methodism [his heritage] had arisen in a generation of men who interpreted literally the apostolic injunction and gave themselves 'continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word.'" (Murray, 92).
So for the greater part of another year, until the early summer of 1926, the issue of his calling was not settled in his heart. In his own words, "It was a very great struggle, I literally lost over 20 pounds in weight." (Murray, 93)
Involved in that struggle were several incidents of which Dr. Lloyd-Jones seldon spoke but impacted his decision significantly.
The first of these incidents dealt with the attachment which he still felt to world and its comforts and pleasures which he had formerly found so appealing.
A family friend, D.J. Williams, had just married and was busy showing his new bride the sights of London. "One night," Martyn recalled, "they wanted me to go to a theater in Leicester Square and they persuaded me to go with them. I have no idea what the play was about at all, but they were very excited about it. What I remember is this: as we came out of the theater to the blare and glare of Lecester Square, suddently a Salvation Army band came along playing some hymn tunes and I knew that these were my people. I have never forgotten it. There is a theme in Wagner's Tannhauser, the two pulls - the pull of the world and the chorus of the pilgrims - and the contrast between the two. I have very often thought of it. I know exactly what it means. I suppose I had enjoyed the play. When I heard this band and the hymns I said, 'these are my people, these are the people I belong to, and I'm going to belong to them.'" (Murray, 93)
The second incident took place in the world of medicine. Through Lord Horder Lloyd-Jones had openings into the lives of the top physicians in England. But what he discovered there was the mutterings, the criticism, the jealous. What he saw at the "top" killed any ambition to get there. There was one occasion, in particular, that left an indelible impression on Lloyd-Jones. "One of the most famous of the Chiefs at Bart's was closely attached to a lady friend on the hospital staff and Lloyd-Jones was one of a small circle aware of their relationship. Then with scarcely any warning the woman died. Shortly afterwards Dr Lloyd-Jones was surprised to find the bereaved chief standing at the door of his research room and asking if he might come in and sit by his fire. Probably it was the corner where he knew he would be undisturbed. For some two hours, without words, the distraught man stared vacantly into the grate until every aspect of the scene was indelibly fixed upon Lloyd-Jones' memory. In his own words, 'That event had a profound effect upon me. I saw the vanity of all human greatness. Here was a tragedy, a man withou any hope at all.'" (Murray, 94)
The deconstruction of human ambition was combined, in Lloyd-Jones, with a growing sense of love for the people that surrouned him at Bart's and on the crowded streets of London. He felt a growing sense of God's call on his life to bring the Word of God to them
Finally, the Hound of Heaven prevailed. As Murray puts it, "It was almost as though the decision was made for him and he could resist no longer." (Murray, 101)
Many years later, in his commentary on Ephesians, God's Ultimate Purpose, Lloyd-Jones would put it this way: "Whatever authority I may have as a preacher is not the result of any decision on my part. It was God's hand that laid hold of me, and drew me out, and separated me to this work." (p. 92)
LESSONS ON CALLING
1. God's call to the ministry is unique and personal in every pastor's life. This is true in Lloyd-Jones' life, and it has been true in my life as well. This should keep us from two errors: (1) The first error is to expect our call to look like God's call to our spiritual heroes. The error in this is to think that God has one way to call, one method of calling. But this is wrong. God does not have cookie cutter Christians; he calls us each in a way that uniquely deconstructs us and irresistably thrusts us into his services. (2) The second error is more common. It is the error to not wait for, or believe in, God's call. Sometimes we think that God only calls the "Super-Christians"...men like Lloyd-Jones and Spurgeon. But that is not true. It is of the very essence of being a Christian that we have been called and set apart by God; furthermore, at the heart of Christian ministry is God's call. God's call is what gives the minister courage and authority.
2. Clarity on God's call on your life leads to great power in one's ministry. If you know that GOD ALMIGHTY has called you and set you apart to proclaim the good news of Jesus you can have courage and boldness. Though you stand alone "against the world" you will not turn away or run in fear; though your best friends betray you or desert you in the hour of your greatest need, you will find strength in the call of your God on your life.
As I mentioned earlier, I am thinking a lot these days on how God clearly called me to minister the gospel in Indianapolis. I do not doubt for a moment God's call. This is the source of my great hope, joy and encouragement in the ministry. God has called me to this.
A PRAYER
Father in Heaven, many years ago you called me to yourself,
all of me - mind, heart, soul, body - were to be yours.
And, freely, joyously, I gave myself to you.
I have not been disappointed; you are my portion forever.
Then, many years after that, Father, you called me into ministry.
Your elders laid hands on me and set me apart for the gospel ministry.
But I was young and proud and self-reliant.
Yet in your relentless pursuit of my heart, you deconstructed me time and time again, until I learned to minister as a broken sinner loved by Jesus.
Then, Father, you called me and Jenny and Jacob, Julian, Judah, and Jackie, to Indy.
We left our home and our family,
We burned our bridges, and turned our hearts to a city we now love and call home.
You called us to suffering and solidarity with our new city,
You called us to a new spiritual family to live together with under your grace.
You called us so spend ourselves for the weak and the poor.
Father, we have tried to be faithful to your call,
But we are so weak, so timid, so broken.
We have done so little for your glory.
But, we do not rejoice in what we have done or haven't done.
We rejoice that our names are written in heaven,
We look forward to that city that is to come,
and we find joy in YOU, the CALLER.
As we return to Indy, remind us of your call on our life.
Remind us that YOU are with us.
Grant us the joy, authority, courage and conviction of your call.
In Jesus mighty name, Amen.
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