It is finally September 24. What's so special about this date you ask me? Well, it's the first day since I have been back from our sabbatical that I have had time and space to add to our blog.
I've had so many good titles for posts and so many great things to write about...but NO, absolutly NO time...
Today I picked everyone up from school, got 5 movies from redbox and we are having a family movie night! This is the first night that we have been back that has been stress free. I cooked "cereal" for dinner and as I write this post, everyone is upstairs tucked together watching movies...I'm going to go join them and hopefully find time for more blog posts! I miss blogging and I miss you reading my posts.
-Jenny
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Re-entry
I'm enjoying another day at St. Meinrads. Lots of silence. Solitude. Reading. Writing. Thinking. But I am aware that my time here is quickly drawing to a close. I am ready.
I have been thinking about reentry.
Reentry back into life in Indy, back into ministry, back into friendships and calling.
I am - slowly! - coming to know myself both in the beauty of who God designed me to be and in my deep brokenness as a person. Those two things - my beauty and my brokenness - seem to reside together, intricately woven so that seeing them clearly and distinctly is a challenge. I know that God has wired me as a man of vision of action of the deed. This is part of his design of me. Yet, in my brokenness I tend to be, as Jenny puts it, a "bulldozer"; to push people over in the goal of the vision, the deed and the glory of the challenge. By his grace, during this sabbatical time, God has been teaching me wisdom. That sometimes the Act and the Deed is achieved by a long waiting, by listening, by understanding the nature of a person or task.
So as I return, I want to walk in that wisdom. I want to listen to people. To ponder and meditate and pray more. And, when I act, for act I must, I want it to be at the right time and in the right way and driven by internal convictions and not just external exigencies and motivated by knowing the pleasure of God is on my, not because of what I do but because of who I am, his beloved son.
I want to remember that I am not a "human doing" but a "human being"...
Beyond that deep thinking, I'm very much looking forward to returning to my city, Indianapolis, and to my family and to my friends. I am very much looking forward to their presence: the laughter and smile of my children and embrace of Jenny; my friends in all their "hilaritas" and uniqueness and "differentness" and, yes, to the great challenges and mighty deeds that await as as we wait and work and love in the strength God gives us.
I have been thinking about reentry.
Reentry back into life in Indy, back into ministry, back into friendships and calling.
I am - slowly! - coming to know myself both in the beauty of who God designed me to be and in my deep brokenness as a person. Those two things - my beauty and my brokenness - seem to reside together, intricately woven so that seeing them clearly and distinctly is a challenge. I know that God has wired me as a man of vision of action of the deed. This is part of his design of me. Yet, in my brokenness I tend to be, as Jenny puts it, a "bulldozer"; to push people over in the goal of the vision, the deed and the glory of the challenge. By his grace, during this sabbatical time, God has been teaching me wisdom. That sometimes the Act and the Deed is achieved by a long waiting, by listening, by understanding the nature of a person or task.
So as I return, I want to walk in that wisdom. I want to listen to people. To ponder and meditate and pray more. And, when I act, for act I must, I want it to be at the right time and in the right way and driven by internal convictions and not just external exigencies and motivated by knowing the pleasure of God is on my, not because of what I do but because of who I am, his beloved son.
I want to remember that I am not a "human doing" but a "human being"...
Beyond that deep thinking, I'm very much looking forward to returning to my city, Indianapolis, and to my family and to my friends. I am very much looking forward to their presence: the laughter and smile of my children and embrace of Jenny; my friends in all their "hilaritas" and uniqueness and "differentness" and, yes, to the great challenges and mighty deeds that await as as we wait and work and love in the strength God gives us.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Prayer...Some Thoughts
My time at St. Meinrads has been a good time for prayer. I haven't forced myself to pray. But I have found myself praying.
I have been praying "in the name of Jesus". In John 15 and 16 Jesus teaches his followers to pray "in his name." Jesus says, "You did not chose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." (John 15:16) And, "I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in in my name." (John 16:23-26)
To pray in Jesus' name is to pray with all the reality of Jesus behind your prayers! It is to pray knowing that Jesus sits on the right hand of God as your Advocated, Mediator, and Priest. It is to come boldly into the presence of The Great and Holy God because Jesus has made a way for you by his death on the Cross. It is to know that you are covered in the beauty of Jesus when you come to God. It is to know that because you love Jesus, the Father delights in you. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray to God as your Abba, your Dearly Beloved Father. To pray in the name of Jesus means that you come to God as an eternally loved son, that you are an heir of the universe, that God is your Father and all things are yours. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know that the great enemies of our soul - sin, death and hell and Satan - have been defeated. To pray in the name of Jesus is to bear a nobility and dignity as a prince of heaven. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray with the authority and earnestness of a son of God. To pray in Jesus name means to know that you are bought by the precious blood of Christ. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know the future of the world will culminate in the triumph of Christ the True King of Heaven and Earth.
So I have been praying in the name of Jesus.
And, in my prayers for others - for my family and for my church family - I have been praying that God's design in them, what I call their core or ultimate identity, would be powerfully lived out in their lives. I am praying that God would grant his children the boldness for them to be who He has designed them to be! I am praying that their ultimate identity in God, their true name, would trump all the secondary idnentities that so easily define, motivate, control and, eventually, enslave.
One last thought about prayer. It is going to be very difficult for me to remain at St. Meinrads tomorrow, the first day of school. In IPS, the first day of school is "Dads, bring your kids to school day." There is an emphasis, a push, for dads to go to school with their kids, to show their kids support and how important and education is. Ever since I have been in Indy, I have taken my kids to school on the first day of School.
But Wednesday, tomorrow, I won't be there. Of course, I could make the trip up to Indy (it wouldn't be so bad in the Mustang convertible I'm renting), but I know that I shouldn't; I know that it is best for me to be away at St. Meinrads, resting, thinking, praying, meditating.
So, what can I do? I can pray? I can pray for Jacob as he begins his sophmore year at Tech. I can pray for Julian as he begins his eight grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Judah as he begins his sixth grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Jackie as she begins her 3rd grade year at School #14. And, when I pray, I know this. My children are not alone. Their Heavenly Father goes with them. The God of their father, the God of Jason, goes with them. The God who is Mighty, A Rock, A Refuge, A Physician, A Lamb and a Lion goes with them. He is mighty to save. So tomorrow, as my children go to school, and I set myself under the discipline of prayer and solitude and waiting, I will pray.
I have been praying "in the name of Jesus". In John 15 and 16 Jesus teaches his followers to pray "in his name." Jesus says, "You did not chose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." (John 15:16) And, "I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in in my name." (John 16:23-26)
To pray in Jesus' name is to pray with all the reality of Jesus behind your prayers! It is to pray knowing that Jesus sits on the right hand of God as your Advocated, Mediator, and Priest. It is to come boldly into the presence of The Great and Holy God because Jesus has made a way for you by his death on the Cross. It is to know that you are covered in the beauty of Jesus when you come to God. It is to know that because you love Jesus, the Father delights in you. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray to God as your Abba, your Dearly Beloved Father. To pray in the name of Jesus means that you come to God as an eternally loved son, that you are an heir of the universe, that God is your Father and all things are yours. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know that the great enemies of our soul - sin, death and hell and Satan - have been defeated. To pray in the name of Jesus is to bear a nobility and dignity as a prince of heaven. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray with the authority and earnestness of a son of God. To pray in Jesus name means to know that you are bought by the precious blood of Christ. To pray in the name of Jesus means to know the future of the world will culminate in the triumph of Christ the True King of Heaven and Earth.
So I have been praying in the name of Jesus.
And, in my prayers for others - for my family and for my church family - I have been praying that God's design in them, what I call their core or ultimate identity, would be powerfully lived out in their lives. I am praying that God would grant his children the boldness for them to be who He has designed them to be! I am praying that their ultimate identity in God, their true name, would trump all the secondary idnentities that so easily define, motivate, control and, eventually, enslave.
One last thought about prayer. It is going to be very difficult for me to remain at St. Meinrads tomorrow, the first day of school. In IPS, the first day of school is "Dads, bring your kids to school day." There is an emphasis, a push, for dads to go to school with their kids, to show their kids support and how important and education is. Ever since I have been in Indy, I have taken my kids to school on the first day of School.
But Wednesday, tomorrow, I won't be there. Of course, I could make the trip up to Indy (it wouldn't be so bad in the Mustang convertible I'm renting), but I know that I shouldn't; I know that it is best for me to be away at St. Meinrads, resting, thinking, praying, meditating.
So, what can I do? I can pray? I can pray for Jacob as he begins his sophmore year at Tech. I can pray for Julian as he begins his eight grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Judah as he begins his sixth grade year at Crispus Attucks. I can pray for Jackie as she begins her 3rd grade year at School #14. And, when I pray, I know this. My children are not alone. Their Heavenly Father goes with them. The God of their father, the God of Jason, goes with them. The God who is Mighty, A Rock, A Refuge, A Physician, A Lamb and a Lion goes with them. He is mighty to save. So tomorrow, as my children go to school, and I set myself under the discipline of prayer and solitude and waiting, I will pray.
St. Meinrads
I'm writing this blog from the second floor of the library at St. Meinrads monastery in southern Indiana. I love libraries: old books, quiet, spiritual riches. I'm found a number of helpful books on the life of Jacob (I'm preaching from the story of Jacob this fall) and I have diving into a number of books that are giving me much to chew on regarding Identity Mapping.
I drove to St. Meinrads in a 2003 GT Mustang convertible. We had some extra money left over from the grant and I needed to rent a car for the trip to St. Meinrads so I thought it would be fun to rent a mustang. The problem was that I couldn't rent any from any of the rental dealerships in Indy: they either didn't have them in stock as rental cars, or you had to rent a premium vehicle and upgrade to a mustang (if there were any available at the time). It was Friday, and I had to leave on Sunday. I thought I would give it one last try and called my friend Josh Nottingham up. Josh leads MATS which is a car dealership that specializes in online buying and selling of cars, especially for people in ministry. It just so happened, Josh said, that he had been driving a mustang convertible and would be happy to let me use it for a week...So there I was, driving the mustang with the warm wind in my face, to St. Meinrads.
What has it been like at St. Meinrads?
Silence, Solitude...
A lot of time to think and pray.
Time to read and write.
I have ordered my days like this:
Wake around 6:00am or so (I'm not setting my alarm!)
Pray and Read
Jog (I have a path I take that winds around a few small lakes, through woods, up a hill, etc.)
Shower, Shave
7:00 call Jenny and the kids
7:30 Breakfast (usually no one is in the eating room; breakfast is served continental style)
8:00 Return to my room; pray
9:00 Go to the library and work
12:00 Lunch
12:30 Break, lay on my bed and think
1:00-4:30 work in the library; read; write; prep sermons.
4:30 check e-mail
5:00 dinner (again by myself)
5:30 rest
6:00 Jog (same route)
Shower
7:00-11:00 work...in the evenings I spend more time thinking about my calling, what work I want to do this year; I also take time to pray for the congregation.
Sleep
This has been a good time for me. It has been a time to rest and think. I feel like I have owned spiritual truth and reality here because I've had time to meditate and pray and chew on things. So I'm glad for this time. But will be glad to be home soon too!
I drove to St. Meinrads in a 2003 GT Mustang convertible. We had some extra money left over from the grant and I needed to rent a car for the trip to St. Meinrads so I thought it would be fun to rent a mustang. The problem was that I couldn't rent any from any of the rental dealerships in Indy: they either didn't have them in stock as rental cars, or you had to rent a premium vehicle and upgrade to a mustang (if there were any available at the time). It was Friday, and I had to leave on Sunday. I thought I would give it one last try and called my friend Josh Nottingham up. Josh leads MATS which is a car dealership that specializes in online buying and selling of cars, especially for people in ministry. It just so happened, Josh said, that he had been driving a mustang convertible and would be happy to let me use it for a week...So there I was, driving the mustang with the warm wind in my face, to St. Meinrads.
What has it been like at St. Meinrads?
Silence, Solitude...
A lot of time to think and pray.
Time to read and write.
I have ordered my days like this:
Wake around 6:00am or so (I'm not setting my alarm!)
Pray and Read
Jog (I have a path I take that winds around a few small lakes, through woods, up a hill, etc.)
Shower, Shave
7:00 call Jenny and the kids
7:30 Breakfast (usually no one is in the eating room; breakfast is served continental style)
8:00 Return to my room; pray
9:00 Go to the library and work
12:00 Lunch
12:30 Break, lay on my bed and think
1:00-4:30 work in the library; read; write; prep sermons.
4:30 check e-mail
5:00 dinner (again by myself)
5:30 rest
6:00 Jog (same route)
Shower
7:00-11:00 work...in the evenings I spend more time thinking about my calling, what work I want to do this year; I also take time to pray for the congregation.
Sleep
This has been a good time for me. It has been a time to rest and think. I feel like I have owned spiritual truth and reality here because I've had time to meditate and pray and chew on things. So I'm glad for this time. But will be glad to be home soon too!
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